Black Ice on Motorway Causes Exposure That Man Made Global Warming Is a Lie, Pile Up
Up to 25 cars have been involved in a pile-up on an icy motorway, despite constant propaganda that the globe is warming and it's all your fault. It is thought the vehicles skidded on a patch of black ice on the A627(M) in Oldham, but Al Gore is di...
Read full storyTiger's Woods Secret 'Scorecard' Discovered By Elin
Elin Nordegren, wife of Tiger Woods, was back at their Florida estate looking for things to take back to Europe with her when she found a secret drawer in Tiger's desk. Inside were several photos that caught her attention, she reported to a travel...
Read full storySomeone Please Unplug Tila "The Tweeter" Tequila's Computer!
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Stand-up comedian Zydeco Dupree was appearing at The Ha Ha Ha Lounge in Santa Monica when he was asked to comment on the Tila Tequila situation. Dupree said that he met Tila once at a rehab clinic in Redondo Beach, where he went t...
Read full storyTaylor Limpbaugh receives Least Interesting Human in History award
American nobody Limp Nobody-Taylor was today honored to receive the American Least Interesting Human In History award today in Little Point, Arkansasaw. Speaking at the ceremony for the uncoveted title she said: 'I just want to thank the US televi...
Read full storySelena Gomez Reveals That She Dreams Of One Day Becoming Mrs. Taylor Lautner
RUTLAND, Vermont - Selena Gomez performed before a sell out crowd of 13,000 at Rutland's Molasses Bottle Auditorium. Afterwards she was asked by a reporter for Post-Puberty Magazine about the rumor that she and Taylor Lautner had been texting each...
Read full storyWyoming Bans Sandra Bullock and Meryl Streep Because of "The Kiss"
HOLLYWOOD - The Critic's Choice Award Show surprise of the night was provided by Sandra Bullock. The star who made a total of nine (9) movies last year tied with Meryl Streep for 'The Best Actress Award.' Both women went up on stage to receive the...
Read full story"Mother of 2 Has Been Kicked Off of Facebook"
Rine Erryb, a stay-at-home mother, was struck off for taking up too much server space constantly updating her status and playing every game offered by Facebook. Her husband Bob, was relieved when they kicked her off: "The kids' diapers haven't...
Read full storyRead, Yawn, Logoff
Some people have come across a website that is supposedly for spoofs, lampoons and satire called TheSpoof.com, and indeed very occasionally you may come across a humourous and satirical article that makes you smile and pick up your keyboard and sharpen it up and get writing yourself - but at least 90% of the articles in this site are not only not spoofs or satire but are also poorly written and...
Read full story'Light My Fire' released by The Doors with Barack Obama as the singer
As a tribute to arguably the greatest American rock band of all time, The Doors, the three remaining living members of that band asked President Barack Obama to be their guest singer on 'Light My Fire'. And he agreed, but like many front men in bands he insisted on changing the words to his own version of them. And here they are: 'You know that it would be untrue You know that I would be a...
Read full storyRomo Bends Over and Coughs It Up--3 Times! Cowboys LOSE! Old Guy Favre WINS!
Led by a 40 year old farmer, the Minnesota Vikings hosted the invading Dallas Cowboys, and when the dust settled proved the only thing the Dudes from Dallas had going for them was their cheerleaders. The highly vaunted offense of the Cowboys, rej...
Read full storyReruns of "ALF" Put NBC Over The Top
Burbank,Ca-Who would have thought it would come to this? After going too far in criticizing the top brass, Jay Leno gets axed, the network scrambles to replace his failing show, and the replacement goes on to get huge ratings. Reruns of the eighti...
Read full storySteve Jobs hired to promote immigration.
In a desperate fight the increasing levels of Xenophobia, US president Barack Obama has hired Apple CEO Steve Jobs to help the Government fight public opinion and make the population realise that they 'want' immigration. In a cleverly arranged pre...
Read full storyBritain declared 'full'.
Home Secretary Alan Johnson has declared the UK full and ordered that the UK Border agency close all Ports with immediate effect. For years now British Daily Mail readers have been screaming from the roof tops that the UK's population was getting...
Read full storyAirlines to Charge Fee for Wearing a Hat
Following up their success with charging fees for carryone baggage, airlines will be imposing fees on passengers wearing hats. "It's a logical development," said a spokesman Art Farly of the Airline Fee Increase institute. "People who will pay $20...
Read full storyDoctors Numbers Rise in Guinea-Bissau
New York - The president of Guinea-Bissau, one of the world's poorest countries, was proud to announce to the United Nations that "The number of doctors per capita in the country has risen steadily over the past decade." President Bunmi Olubumni s...
Read full storyLocal Man Disappointed By Dallas Cowboys
Local man Martin Shuttlecock could barely conceal his bitter disappointment this evening when he tuned in his HD TV hoping to see a movie double bill and found that the show was a sports programme featuring NFL teams Dallas Cowboys and Minnesota Viki...
Read full story'UK Should Be Prepared To Go To War Over Proposed Cadbury Sale.'
So says Glenys Greenhorn of Midlands 'Action For Chocolate' group as Cadbury's faces a hostile takeover bid by US chocolate giants Hershey. Cadbury's is a British institution, founded by the Cadbury family in the 19th century in purpose built work...
Read full storyWrite, Read, Rate
People everywhere are discovering a funny site on the internet, TheSpoof.com, but it was learned today that perhaps soon we may not be able to read all the funny spoofs and jokes that people are writing and sending into that site. TheSpoof.com writers depend on ratings to reach ultimate heights of their writing careers and most people who are reading all the fun spoofs don't bother to RATE the...
Read full storyEngland's official 2010 World Cup song to be by The Lightning Seeds
The FA today changed its mind and decided that England would have a World Cup song to take people's minds off their inevitable failure at winning that competition. This is it: 'Three Lions' '[spoken] Alan Hansen: I think all these foreign players dominating English clubs is bad for our game Trevor Brooking: We're just not good enough, we only won in sixty-six by a fix It won't come home...
Read full storySpace Dog 'Laika' Spotted Approaching Dog Eat Dog World
Little, adorable Russian doggie, Laika, was presumed dead after his space exploration in the early 20th Century but recent observations from the Hubble Telescope have detected the 'waggledy-tailed one' coming dangerously close to an extraterrestrial...
Read full storyIt's Better the Devil You Know
Scientists studying Hell and Evil have uncovered a shocking truth: the Devil you know is probably a much nicer guy than the Devil you don't know. Listening to Kylie Minogue singing the song 'Better the Devil You Know' may not seem the most pleasan...
Read full storyDowning Street earthquake on Monday as Jupiter and Venus cross celestial Maginot Line
London - (Karmic Mess): As the zodiac's magnificent Benefics change signs in tandem on Monday the final curtain falls on the wretched House of Windsor. And with it the tyrranical Gorgon Brown pederastocracy that has appeased wannabe Tory dictator...
Read full storyTrust not a Campbell
Ronald McDonald a historian from Aberdeen has been researching the history of the Campbell Clan and has a word of warning "Trust Not a Campbell". The most recent Campbell not to trust is Alastair Campbell who recently stated at the so called Iraq...
Read full storyKiffins Explode Onto LA Night Life Scene, Brad and Angie Sacked & Thrown for a Loss!
California's new Hot Couple, Layla & Lane Kiffin announced the opening today of their new College Enterprise, 'Layla's Lair', a swinging combination of Hooters, The New Oasis Bar & Grill in the UK, and The Penthouse Club. The dynamic cou...
Read full storyAll Night Long
Taoism, the Chinese dualistic philosophy, dates back to 2,000 BC. It symbolizes pairs of opposites consisting of Yin (dark side) and Yang (light side) observed in the universe, such as good vs. evil, love vs. hate, light vs. dark etc. Incidentally, Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961), a Swiss psychiatrist, gives us the 'principle of opposites'. An instance of which is when we think of our wealthy old a...
Read full storyJulio Iglesias Says He Quit Having Sex Like A Rabbit Years Ago
During a performance in Sao Paulo, Brazil, Julio Iglesias told the audience that he had abandoned "rabbit sex" fifteen years ago. The famous lover had quite a reputation, but he says it is no longer true. He had earlier told an audience in Monterr...
Read full storyHaiti earthquake was really an Al Qaeda "Suicide Submarine" nuke attack!
Shocking news is seeping out of Haiti that the earthquake was actually no earthquake at all! Aid workers in Haiti saw 2 slightly fried, marine, Al Qaeda turbans drifting towards the beach with "The Great one" written on the front and "Bin Laden so...
Read full storyIn Twilight Eclipse, Malia Obama May Have Walk-On Part
Barack and Michelle's oldest daughter Malia may have a wish come true before long as she has been invited to a walk-on role as an extra in the June, 2010 movie, Twilight Eclipse. "She is really excited", stated the First Lady, Michelle. "This has...
Read full storyRonaldo Walks In Beckham's Shoes
Eerie goings on revealed in the world of professional football as Cristiano Ronaldo's career strangely echoes that of David Beckham. Beckham became a star at Manchester United, and won a Champion's League medal, as did Cristiano Ronaldo, who took...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart And Zac Efron Pencilled In For 'Exorcist' Remake
Producers of the eagerly awaited remake of 1974 horror classic 'The Exorcist' have pencilled in three of Hollywood's leading lights to star in the project. There is widespread speculation that several other Hollywood teen idols are being looked at by...
Read full storyWinnie the Pooh Says He Dislikes Honey
Famed children's book character and movie star Winnie the Pooh says he dislikes honey. "I never liked the stuff and I feel I am now old enough to say so," Winnie told reporters outside his Forest Hills home. Honey protestors who have long thought...
Read full storyDid Brad Pitt Have The Brad Pitts?
Speculation in Hollywood increased today as rumours began to circulate that Brad Pitt had come down with a case of the Brad Pitts. Pitt failed to show up for several appointments in the Greater LA area, where a number of reputable journalists clai...
Read full storyCBB - Bookies Slash Odds On Vinnie Jones Nutting Somebody
He started off cool and detached in the CBB house, frequently being the sole voice of reason in a sea of insanity, but the cracks in Vinnie Jones's composure are beginning to show, leading to bookies slashing the odds on him nutting a housemate from...
Read full story'Jihad! The Musical' Opens To Lukewarm Reviews.
One of the most eagerly awaited musical productions to hit the West End stage in years was given a lukewarm reception by critics and audience members alike, who gave the show an almost unanimous thumbs down. The story focuses on bungling terrorist...
Read full story'Naked' And 'Sex' Are Hot Topics Says Beyonce - Cheryl Cole Agrees
At last. It's official. 'Naked' and 'Sex' can come out of the closet without fear of reprisals because they are HOT TOPICS, as was confirmed tonight by Beyonce, and seconded by Cheryl Cole. This applies even moreso on satirical websites and on sea...
Read full storyCat Killed By Fatal Gunshot, Not Curiosity
The saying "Curiosity killed the cat" was today put to rest as the autopsy of North Dakota cat Richard Hopkins was released today. "I've called this press conference today to announce that cat Richard Hopkins was killed by one fatal gunshot to th...
Read full storyNaked Breast Pics To Be Axed By Tabloids
For over thirty years now, the British tabloid press have been entertaining the working men of Britain with topless photographs of nubile nymphettes, usually tucked just inside the front page on page 3 or page 5 or in some instances, on every single...
Read full storyLondon To Be Awarded NFL Franchise?
Breaking news appears to suggest that talks are at an advanced stage between NFL officials and a London consortium with a view to awarding London an NFL franchise. Our insider told us that should this scenario become a reality, the London team wil...
Read full storyTattooed Lady Disappears In Comic Book Store
The world's most tattooed lady, Loretta Louella MacSpanky sparked a massive police operation today when she went missing in DC Marvel's Comic Book Store in Bogart, Georgia. Her distraught husband Hank MacSpanky, still deeply shocked by events, tol...
Read full story