Gordon Brown And Barack Obama To Release Single.
In a bizarre twist of cultural hype, Gordon Brown and Barack Obama have joined together and released a single, in the hopes of garnering an unprecedented UK and US joint number 1. Taking inspiration from Rage Against The Machine grabbing the highl...
Read full storyPatriots Lose, Tom Brady Wears Black Underwear
The New England Patriots 33-14 loss to the Baltimore Ravens in the playoffs eliminates the chance for a possible fourth Super Bowl for Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Viewers who tuned in to watch this gridiron battle noted Tom Brady's obviously black...
Read full storyNBC Playing Musical Talk Shows: Leno Moving To 11:35 P.M., O'Brien Moving To 12:35 A.M., and Fallon Moving To 2:35 A.M.
LOS ANGELES - NBC, the Peacock Network, is trying very hard to get rid of its "NoBodyCares.web" slogan. In it's latest attempt it has decided to take its three late night talk shows and play musical chairs. Jay Leno, the king of the chins, wil...
Read full storyRepublicans Tout Healthcare Plan
House Republican leader John Boehner of Ohio today announced his party's plan for sweeping healthcare reform. "It's a no-brainer," said Boehner. "It takes the best parts found in the Democrats' plan and weds them to ours. This will put to rest al...
Read full storyAll Nippon to Pinch Onboard Output
Japanese carrier All Nippon Airways (ANA) is asking passengers to relieve themselves before boarding its aircraft to reduce weight and thus lower fuel consumption. "A typical human bladder holds up to a liter of liquid and weighs 2.2 pounds," sai...
Read full storyCannibal Tribe Messes Up Zimbabwe's "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" Big Time!
LALAPANZI, Zimbabwe - The producers for the Zimbabwean version of I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here which only aired one show are still in shock. The ten Zimbabwean celebrities were flown into the lost jungle known as The Great Fufamusa Yum Yum...
Read full storyBouncing at Beachy Head
The notorious East Sussex suicide spot Beachy Head has claimed a number of lives over the years and has even seen a voluntary patrol on a part-time basis. In a recent Cabinet meeting which was attended by representatives of local police, rescue se...
Read full storyCorrupt child support official can't be bothered
The head of Legal Enforcement for child support, Mr Banal Portaloo, has let slip that he has better things to do with his time than chase non-paying fathers. Mr Portaloo, who whilst a Detective for the Metropolitan Police was implicated in a major...
Read full storyMajor Newspapers Turning to All Satire Format
Faced with growing concerns about reporting errors, privacy and being forced to reveal sources, many of the nations top newspapers such as the Los Angeles Times, New York Times, Detroit Free Press and Washington Post are turning to an all-satire form...
Read full storyDannii Minogue Down Under In Australia Is Attacked By A Kangaroo
MELBOURNE - X-Factor judge Dannii Minogue and her boyfriend Chris Smith were out in the bush shooting nature photos of the animals of the outback when she was suddenly attacked from the rear by a kangaroo. Smith said that he was zooming in on a pa...
Read full storyCarbon Emission cuts blamed for the Cold Weather
A new study published today shows that cuts in carbon emissions are responsible for the worst winter in over 30 years. Professor Watson from Bognor Rigis Univerity said that the findings were the result of a 10 year study. He explained; "During t...
Read full storyTina Few To Replace Palin At T-Baggers Convention
Anonymous sources say that Tina Fey will replace Sarah Palin at the T-Baggers convention in February but most of the attendees will not know it isn't Palin. Insiders say that Palin has told them she just couldn't do it. "I am sick of them" Palin...
Read full storyGun Expert Forgets To Leave Safety On, On First Date
Kenny Marsh, a Huntsville, Alabama ex-police officer and security expert, was showing off his gun collection on his first date with a present Huntsville police officer, Janice Harper. Upon showing Janice a 9mm pistol that had belonged to his fathe...
Read full storyTwilight's Ashley Green Posing Nude Again
Ashley Greene, fresh from the Twilight New Moon blockbuster, is posing nude for her new role in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Special, sort of. How can she sort of pose in the nude? Well, let's admit that she IS totally in the nude, but there is a cost...
Read full storyMinnesotan Unaware of Jackson Death
Minneapolis, MN - Bleiben Dunkel of Minnesota acknowledged today that he is unfamiliar with late entertainer, Michael Jackson. Contacted at his home in the remote village of Waskish, Dunkel said that his TV screen went blank on June 12. When told tha...
Read full storyNew Retail Season launched
With only a month to go, many retailers have been caught on the hop by the recent icy weather. Valentine's cards, usually in the shops by late November, are only now starting to appear. Just before Easter eggs. And the 2010 Christmas hamper catal...
Read full storyBritish government tells England to quit World Cup after deadly attack
England's footballers are being told that they must not attend this year's World Cup in South Africa, after a deadly attack on their cities for years by Germans left their team bus destroyed in London. Tens of thousands were killed across the coun...
Read full storyThe R Factor
Jonathon Woss wants to pwoduce his own television progwamme called The R Factor which will be just like the X Factor but all the singers must be unable to pwonounce the letter R just like Jonathon Woss. Paul Woss Jonathons brother wants him to co...
Read full storyBelgium to replace Wales as Standard Measure of 'Really Big Stuff'
For years Wales dominated the heady world of measurement scales for very large objects and things, but in recent times a new pretender to the throne has grown in stature - Belgium. Whenever newsreaders or scientists wanted to draw comparisons betw...
Read full storyT-Baggera Request "Whites Only" Signs For National Convention In Nashville
In a startling announcement that was sure to anger many in Nashville and around the country, the executive committee for The T-Bagger convention in Nashville have requested the City Council in that city to establish "Whites Only" sections of the city...
Read full storySanta Muerte mothership stalks Buckingham Palace
London - (X-Files): The iconic narcosaint-emblazoned UFO was seen menacing the London skyline this weekend ahead of a stupendous Sun/Venus conjunction on Monday night. Witnesses say the death-herald craft rose from the waters of the Buckingham Pal...
Read full storyDarts Final The Real Reason For Adebayor's Return Home From African Cup of Nations
CABINDA PROVINCE, ANGOLA - Emmanuel Adebayor has revealed the true motive as to why he's returned home in the wake of the gun attack on the Togolese National team: the Manchester City striker has tickets to the darts championship final and doesn't wa...
Read full storyBargis Tryhol Detained After Trying to Join Boston's Annual "No Pants Ride" on MBTA: Cops Claim Unregistered & Endangered Serpent Involved!
Bargis Tryhol got more than he bargained for today when he attempted to join what has become an annual tradition in Boston; Ride the MBTA without your pants on! The now accepted event sponsored by The Society of Spontaneity, and financed by an ear...
Read full storyUK Faces Another 20cm Of Exposing 'Man Made Global Warming' As A Lie.
More heavy reality showers are sweeping across Britain and piling more pressure on the nation's already-stretched winter resources. Forecasters warned up to 20cm of truth and reality could settle today and tomorrow causing a fresh round of travel...
Read full storyMyleene Klass's Intruder complains about treatment
The Hoodie Boy who tresspassed on Myleene Klass's property this week has complained about his treatment to a local Newspaper. He is said to be horrified by his treatment at the hands of the pretty television presenter, after she shouted at him throu...
Read full storyBigfoot Hoax Solved
After more than 30 years of making hoax films of Bigfoot the hoaxer Harry Hunter has been caught because this time when he ran through the snow at an undisclosed location in Canada he forgot to put on his gorilla suit. Harry admitted that he was t...
Read full storyTogo footy attack was a complete "Balls Up", they thought Didier Drogba was in the bus!
The horrendous attack on the Togo soccer team bus was a complete and utter BALLS and COCK UP! The attackers actually wanted to attack Chelsea's fabulous diving, whinging centre forward, Didier Drogba who plays for the Ivory Coast! Being an imme...
Read full storyDullthing and even Dullerthing are Klingons
Alastair Dullthing and even Dullerthing Gordon Brown are still klinging on to power despite being the two most incompetent politicians that have ever worked together as Chancellor of the Exchequer and Prime Minister. Dull And Duller sometimes refe...
Read full storySnow not as much as expected in Milwaukee
Meteorologist Don Delore reporting on the large snowfall in Milwaukee. "Here in the Milwaukee area it was reported that a total of six inches fell overnight". He was red faced beyond words when the sweet little blond newscaster reprimanded him...
Read full storyJoseph Lieberman Caught in Tranny Sex Scandal
Joseph Lieberman...known by his friends as 'Joey'... is famous on Capitol Hill for the pale, false smile, pasted on his face. Some have noted, that it is an insipid, and exaggerated smile ... intoning an effort to present a happy countenace, by an...
Read full storyElvis still attends his Birthday celebrations
Happy Birthday Elvis: "Are you lonesome tonight?" At 75 years old, Elvis would probably not be doing a lot of pelvis shaking unless it was from an ailment in his nervous system, but he would still be adored. Graceland in Memphis was celebrating his birthday and he was enjoying every minute of it. Cilla was there as well as his beloved Lisa Marie and thousands of fans, to make it all seem...
Read full storyChad Ochocinco to Change Name--Again
Cincinnati Bengals wide-receiver Chad Ochocinco (whose last name used to be Johnson) has stated he will change is name again to Chad NumeroUno despite what NFL commission Roger Goodell has to say about it. "He can't stop me," Ochocinco said. "He c...
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