Belgium to replace Wales as Standard Measure of 'Really Big Stuff'

Funny story written by LisaPisa

Sunday, 10 January 2010

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image for Belgium to replace Wales as Standard Measure of 'Really Big Stuff'
You could fit 70,0000000000000000000 of these animals into a space the size of Belgium

For years Wales dominated the heady world of measurement scales for very large objects and things, but in recent times a new pretender to the throne has grown in stature - Belgium.

Whenever newsreaders or scientists wanted to draw comparisons between something large such as an asteroid or a cloud or a fat American, they would inevitably turn to Wales.

'A rainforest the size of Wales' was a common sentence used by people in the 1980's to describe deforestation and that kind of boring bullshit.

But in the past few months Belgium has crept into the common parlance of measurement-scale aficionado's.

The worlds tallest building - Burj Dubai - which was recently unveiled to great media shite and pant wetting, was said to be "as long as 1/255th the radius of Belgium" or that it would "need 200,000 of them to fill Belgium's fresh water levels to a depth of 5-metres".

The snow storms threatening Europe were said to be the size of "two Belgium's lined back-to-back"

Nobody knows why Belgium has suddenly taken pride of place on the measurement league table.

Nobody really cares either to be fucking honest - except Wales which had just unveiled a plaque in Cardiff last Friday which commemorated all the things that it is the size of or which have a combined size equivalent to the area of the shithole.

For many years before the 1970's, Denmark was the main measurement used. That all ended when the last Viking died in 1956 from cock-rot.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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