Written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 10 January 2010

image for Togo footy attack was a complete "Balls Up", they thought Didier Drogba was in the bus!
Safety is absolute priority at Angola 2010 as long as you support Angola and not Togo!

The horrendous attack on the Togo soccer team bus was a complete and utter BALLS and COCK UP!

The attackers actually wanted to attack Chelsea's fabulous diving, whinging centre forward, Didier Drogba who plays for the Ivory Coast!

Being an immense problem in Africa that most players are black and all look the same the attackers thought Togo was actually the Ivory Coast.

As for the attackers, being mostly uneducated thickheads with machine-guns, they were given the orders to attack a bus containing BLACK African players.

Bad luck for Togo, good luck for superstar Didier.

Reports coming out of Africa from Jaggedone's CIA (cockroach infiltration army, plenty of them in Africa actually!) and his star African footy reporter, Chief Cockyzulu Swalbe-Roach, is:

Zimbabwean, very corrupt, avid Nr1 Man Utd fan, President Robert Mugabe was behind the attack.

He thought by removing Didier Man Utd would have a chance of winning the Premier League and Champions League.

Well Mr "Pyscho" Mugabe, Jaggedone can confirm that even without Drogba around Man Utd will never win anything unless they buy a decent STRIKER!

Jaggedone's CIA reporter, Chief Cockyzulu Swalbe-Roach, is now concentrating his efforts on covering the Africa Cup from a stinking, disgusting, crawling with his bretheren, sewer in downtown Luanda, "very stenchy, pongy and enjoying every minute" was his last report!!!!!!!!!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

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