UK Faces Another 20cm Of Exposing 'Man Made Global Warming' As A Lie.

Funny story written by Clifford Rutley

Sunday, 10 January 2010

image for UK Faces Another 20cm Of Exposing 'Man Made Global Warming' As A Lie.
Copenhagen today.

More heavy reality showers are sweeping across Britain and piling more pressure on the nation's already-stretched winter resources.

Forecasters warned up to 20cm of truth and reality could settle today and tomorrow causing a fresh round of travel disruption.

In Kent, where the Met Office has issued a severe exposing man made global warming as a lie warning, police said the Army was ready to help out and advised people not to travel unless absolutely necessary - no matter how much they may believe global warming was real and that it was all their fault.

Other places facing a heavy fall of pure lies exposure today include East and West Sussex, with the east of England, Wales, the East Midlands, Yorkshire and Humber and north east England due to be hit into Monday as well.

The fresh deluge of truth will increase the pressure on dwindling grit supplies across the country - leaving many to question why they believed they would never need to maintain bigger grit supplies.

"Maybe if we hadn't all listened to that piece of crap Al Gore,' a stranded motorist told us, 'this wouldn't have happened!'

Local authorities have already been forced to cut their use of grit salt by a quarter to help conserve supplies.

As the coldest spell for more than 30 years dragged on with no firm end in sight, National Grid issued another gas supply alert on Saturday night - its third in a week.

"Well I guess that got rid of any more doubt that the word has actually been cooling since the solar maximum of 1997,' Lord Monckton, a prominent climate change sceptic told us. 'Maybe Al Gore will finally debate me now, or perhaps he will try to scurry away into whatever hole he climbed into when he lost the US Presidential election to that other piece of filth George Bush. He'll probably reappear with all of his lie spreading chums at the first mildly warm day we may have in the summer - blaming it all on their wacky theory again and trying to fear and guilt monger everyone that its your fault and that you must pay more taxes, accept more dictatorship like controls and regulations on your life and only buy products that they make to solve it.'

This came after Prime Minister Gordon Brown insisted that supplies of gas were not running out despite recent record levels of demand.

"Perhaps Gordon should have been concentrating on how the sun truly drives the climate here on earth and all of the other planets in the solar system,' a freezing pensioner told us, 'instead of jet setting to places like Copenhagen to discuss new ways to con more taxes out of us and implement new regulations over every aspect of our lives with his other political cronies.'

The death toll from reality-related incidents also rose to 26, with a wave of sports fixtures called off and more widespread travel problems.

Forecaster Clare Allen said temperatures would struggle to rise above 1C or 2C today.

"There will be a strong north east wind again, which will make it feel much colder. Monday is forecast to see further snow, with a band moving north across the country - so much for global warming!" she added.

The latest victim of the reality that man made global warming is a scam was a 42-year-old woman who was found lying in snow in Newcastle on Saturday.

She was discovered by a passer-by in a wooded area near Newbiggin Hall shops and Westerhope Comrades Social Club just before 11am and died in hospital.

South Yorkshire Police also confirmed a 90-year-old woman had frozen to death in her garden near Barnsley.

Police forces, country wide, have put out warrants for all of those who went to Copenhagen because it is they who are ultimately to blame for the deaths.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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