
Mossad claims Blair's ex-mother in law 'godmother of all organsied crime'
Mossad HQ, Las Vegas - (Tosspots): "We blame rogue ex-MI6/KGB agent Matilda," Mossad London desk chief Heini Shibboleth said today. The death today of 88 people in a Lakki Maingrwat, South Waziristan volleyball pitch suicide bomb could easily hav...
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Russia in crisis - drinking kills over half of all factory workers
Excessive drinking is blamed for more than half the deaths of people aged between 15 and 54 since the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991, and Russia has decided to do something about the problem. 'We declared religion to be the opiate of the masses...
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Obama under pressure to grant clemency to Underwear Bomber
US President Barack Obama is coming under increasing pressure to grant clemency to Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, known as the Underwear Bomber. In the course of attempting to blow up an Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit, Abdulmutall...
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Captain Juan Busted To Corporal For Failing Short Arms Inspection
The Spoof Writer (and military commander in an unnamed but competely insignificant banana republic) previously known as Colonel Juan was busted to Captain after being caught naked in a hot tub with several exposed privates. He was busted in rank to...
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Cheryl Cole mouldy pantyliner found in Mossad safe house
London - (Gussets): "Basically, the smell is so mood-altering it turns ordinary radicalised nutjobs into flippin suicide bomber fanatics!" a Special Branch forensics expert commented today The statement follows the discovery of droplets of Ms Twee...
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Status Quo rockers given Old Boring Entertainers awards (OBE's), for playing the same 3-chord song over and over for 30 years
Staus Quo guitarists Francis Rossi and Rick Parfitt today received their OBE's from another old rocker, Her Majesty the Queen, and said they were 'bored with the same 3 chords after 30 years of playing them'. 'Same chords, same beat, no wonder bas...
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Kansas Dad Somehow Lifts Car Off Six-Year-Old Girl
A Kansas mother is praising neighbor Nick Harris as "Superman" after her six-year-old daughter told her Harris somehow found the strength to lift a car off her. The girl escaped with minor injuries after she was pinned under the vehicle. "He reall...
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Obama to throw massive kegger
Following Kim Jong Il's latest message hoping for warmer relations with the US, many are speculating the return of the 6 nation nuclear talks however, we at the Spoof can reveal that President Obama has something a little different in mind. Sourc...
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But Does Santa Believe in You?
A week after completing his annual goodwill mission, Santa Claus admitted that for almost two hundred years he's harbored growing doubts about the existence of children. Santa told reporters at the December 26 global press conference and debriefin...
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Doctor Who spotted in Tipton as waiter
Doctor Whos David Tennant has regenerated from an actor into an Indian waiter in Tipton called Saeed Linghamdoubledeckerbus - The current owner (Russel Davies) of the famous Indian restaurant 'Vindaloo gives u Poo' stated 'he is the Time Lord, he loo...
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U.S. Scientists Say Moon Hole Might Be Suitable for Colony
NASA and Jet Propulsion Laboratory scientists have concluded a 50 year study and now say that a moon hole just might be suitable for colonization by humanoids. President O'Bama has been reviewing the report and his aides say he has some ideas on...
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"You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family;" Madonna plans to adopt again!
MEGA singer, songwriter, actress and foster mother Madonna is planning to adopt again, the 51-year-old star already has two children from Malawi, son David Banda and daughter Mercy, as well as Rocco from her marriage to Guy Ritchie, and Lourdes, from...
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Lifeless Prion Proteins can evolve and multiply, Spoof writers are main targets!
Scientists have proven that "lifeless prion proteins" can evolve, mutliply and enter humans via suspect channels. The Spoof writership has been warned as many Spoofers suffer from several afflictions caused by "lifeless prions" entering their alre...
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New Mel Gibson Movie Protested Already
The actual shooting hasn't taken place yet, bullets or film, but the families of the Mexican prisoners are already protesting that Mel Gibson has asked Mexican officials to kindly remove the rascals elsewhere so he can shoot his new movie, "How I Spe...
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NBA SnowBlow! Washington Intellectual Wizards Pull Guns and Fire on Each Other!
Washington Intellectual Wizards players Gilbert "Home Boy" Arenas and Javaris "Mo Fo" Crittenton had each other pinned down in the team's locker room at half time with a withering array of gang banger style 9mm and 45acp shots. Ricocheting bullets a...
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Woman Charges Shaquille O'Neal With A Flagrant Foul
LOS ANGELES - A top swimsuit model has hired famed West Coast attorney Gladys LaBlue to represent her in a sexual harassment lawsuit against Cleveland Cavaliers star Shaquille O'Neal. Vanessa Lopez claims that the basketball giant has been sending...
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New Tape Of Nixon, Agnew In White House Hilarious
A new tape recording of then President Richard Nixon talking with his Vice President Spiral Agnew is being called the 'best one yet' by both his rivals and his supporters who had to admit that it was a hoot. On the tape, Nixon is asking Agnew abou...
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Was that Van Persie? Smoking!
Yesterday (New Years Eve 2009), Arsenal forward Robin Van Persie was seen by me having a crafty fag in a club with friends. Van Persie, currently injured long-term, was sat, clearly trying to avoid detection, in a shut away booth at an anonymous...
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Sponsors, Charities Latest To Get Screwed By Tiger Woods!
Sponsors, PGA planners, hotels that depend on their golf tournaments for a lot of their yearly income and several charities say that they are the latest to be screwed by Tiger Woods. "Sure, those women may get their funds for keeping their mouths...
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Danny Gokey Seen Escorting Susan Boyle About Town
The paparazzi are hitting this story for all that it's worth, but the subjects both say that it's no more than a very good friendship that has drawn the two together. And where have they been seen together? At a church service, of course. "Da...
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The Artists Formerly Known As Blackwater- Xe, Start Up New 'Thrill To Kill' Theme Park
Soldiers of Fortune, para military buffs and serial killers can all revel in the new theme park started by Xe, the artists once known as Blackwater. Fresh from getting off their convictions of killing 17 Iraqi civilians at a traffic circle in Baghdad...
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In Hawaii they say that Rush Limbaugh's small heart Grew three sizes that day!
Hawaii - The news that came out, upon the news wires reported word of Rush Limbaugh, word that was most dire Rush Limbaugh the radio jockey whiles on his holiday rest, Was admitted to the hospital with pains of the chest Verbose and Grinchy on his daily radio show But he held unhealthy secrets that most didn't know It wasn't a lack of brain that made him a thug nor was his secret additio...
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Kristen Stewart too horny for Breaking Dawn?
Twilight Actress, Kristen Stewart, was sent off the set for getting too into a mock scene for the fourth instalment of the twilight saga. I have an inside source who is here to tell us what went down in the house of twilight. neongreen1397: "so what happenened with K. Stew and R. Pat?" insider: "Robert and Kristen had to do a mock scene- this is where the do a like a sample of each...
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Income Tax Abolished
Here is part of a script I have written called: The Course of Human Events Written by: Terry Blount [News report on tv] Reporter: The Internal Revenue Service released their annual reports today and for the third consecutive year the taxes collected have declined to all time low of just over 1 trillion dollars. Meanwhile, congress is voting tomorrow to raise the national debt...
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President Obama releases his New Year's Resolutions
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) -- President Barack Obama released a few of his most noteworthy New Year's Resolutions Thursday morning at a White House press briefing. He did not answer reporter's questions however, saying: "I believe the list speaks for itself." (1) I will not stick my penis into anymore electrical outlets. (2) I will not hide my monthly "Big, BIG, Chick's Asses" magazines under...
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Man Attempts to Blow-up Plane! Succeeds Only To Set His Pants on Fire
Abdulmutallab was on Northwest Flight 253 approaching Detroit's Metropolitan Airport when he gets a strong enough urge to use the airline's toilet for a full 20 minutes. Back from the loo he announces that he has an upset stomach and is seen pulling...
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Asteroid will destroy US in 2010 Says NASA T-Baggers celebrate
In an announcement that stunned the world, NASA has announced that an asteroid will hit the heartland of the US in 2010 and will wipe out the entire country. As millions flocked to the streets and jammed telephone lines seeking more information, The...
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Danny Gokey Set To Play Robert Downey Jr. in "The Downey Diaries"
American Idol contestant, Danny Gokey,auditioned for the role of Robert Downey Jr. in the remake of Downey Jr.'s life called, "The Downey Diaries" which will be directed by, guess who-- Downey Jr. himself. "Gokey looks and sounds a lot like Downey...
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Charlie Sheen Sends Regrets for Limp Performance at Failed Orgy:" I Just Couldn't Come" Said the Jailed Star!
TV & Moviedom's Sexual Bad Boy, Charlie Sheen, seemed repentant that he couldn't even make a cameo appearance at a recent Orgy celebrating yet another reality show for the Kardashians. Petro 'the Weasel' Saltambocca, Hollywood's Premier Photo...
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NFL recruit accused of Fascist leanings
Rome, Italy. In breaking news, the grandson of Benito Mussolini, the infamous Fascist dictator of the 1930s and 40s, has been signed to play quarterback for the Cardinals in the NFL. Dario Mussolini, aged 26, will play three seasons with the top...
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Damned Trolls Interrupted My 'Nude Big Brother Twins Pics Eclipse Vanessa Hudgens' Tribute Story!
London - (Trolling Mess): "I was just about to start writing the raunchy sequel to my Nude Big Brother Twins' Pics Eclipse Vanessa Hudgens story," Spoof writer Queen Mudder said today, "but a recent flame war by anonymous cyber bottom-feeders in the...
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