Mossad HQ, Las Vegas - (Tosspots): "We blame rogue ex-MI6/KGB agent Matilda," Mossad London desk chief Heini Shibboleth said today.
The death today of 88 people in a Lakki Maingrwat, South Waziristan volleyball pitch suicide bomb could easily have been prevented according to Israeli Intelligence.
"Whoever signed off her HMP Broadmoor release form is an Al Qaeda accomplice!"
'Matlida', a nonagerian bigamist daughter of Blackshits leader Sir Oswald Mosley, has shagged her way through every known bigtime conartist, thug and terrorist imaginable.
These days her latest money-grubbing ploy is to pose as the imminent legatee of 'suicided' gay party reveller Count Gottfried Von Bismarck, who fell some 60 feet to his death in central London after a dodgy cocaine snort burst his aorta.
Fraud Squad officers describe her as a wizened Joan Collins lookalike, circa 1955, who has shagged every major criminal from George Bush 1 & 2 to Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs.
"Fortunately she's not very bright," an SO13 source explained.
"Last week she got thrown out of Tesco's for shoplifting. it must have been her 200th attempt."
