New Tape Of Nixon, Agnew In White House Hilarious

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 1 January 2010

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Loved To Keep Tapes

A new tape recording of then President Richard Nixon talking with his Vice President Spiral Agnew is being called the 'best one yet' by both his rivals and his supporters who had to admit that it was a hoot.

On the tape, Nixon is asking Agnew about the secret 'nuclear waste-eating bugs' that Agnew had purchased from a 'scientist' as the first batch to be turned loose out west at Yucca Mountain.

"I'll be a hero to the whole world", stated Nixon.

"What about me, the one who paid $100,000 for the little guys?"

"Oh, I will share it with you, Spiro. We'll get the credit as this guy didn't want anything but money. It's a Nobel Prize for each of us, I'm sure."

They continue for some time about how and when to go public with the results.

"You actually saw the bugs eating the waste?"

"Yes Sir, they are right over here in this box. I'll get the geiger counter and you can listen to it go off. Beeeeeeeeeeeeep! See, the bugs are eating up that nuclear waste full of radiation."

"So that's how it works? What's that thing they've dug out?"

"Probably a chunk of...smells like bacon fat. Maybe we should try the geiger counter elsewhere before we release the news. Here, I'll hold it up to that chair. Beeeeeeeeeeep!"

"Does this mean that someone has slipped in a radioactive chair, Mr. President? Probably one of those on your 'enemy list'."

"No it means that you have been tricked into spending $100,000 for dung beetles and a free geiger counter thrown in, Asshole!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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