Man falls from cruise ship, found clinging to boy
Pinellas County, Fl - A man who fell from a cruise ship Monday morning was rescued after he was found clinging to a boy; a young lad who had skipped school to do some clam diving. The man, Nigel Linquist, 46, had been enjoying the scenery as the s...
Read full storyDavid Letterman Arrested!
NEW YORK CITY - Talk show host David Letterman has been arrested. His manager Chang Lee Zeegerpool confirmed that Letterman was taken into custody by seven NYPD police officers from Precint 70042 in Staten Island. The arresting officer Bernardo Vi...
Read full storyDamaging Statements "Banned" From Iraq Enquiry
London - The long awaited inquiry into the British involvement in the conflict in Iraq is to begin. Prime Minister Gordon Brown made the announcement today during a visit to a meat processing plant in Northern England. He is due to announce the li...
Read full storyIran election - amid street protests Battle of the Ayatollahs now begins
TEHRAN, IRAN: Here's a riddle that this writer feels should be making the rounds soon: "How many Ayatollahs does it take to rig an election?" Answer: "Not many." And that seems to be what is plaguing Iran at this moment. Amid all the stre...
Read full storyAliens suspected as Vanessa George Bush arrest leads to woman's Mars Hill bust?
Mars Hill, Cydonia, Maine - (Perverted Alien Ass Mess): Last week's child porn arrest of 39 year old Plymouth creche worker Vanessa George Bush has netted another perp, this time in the Mars Hill area of Maine, USA. A 30 year-old mother of four wa...
Read full storyBiden Gets Good Luck
Washington D.C. (FTB newswire) Vice President Joe Biden had an unusual piece of good luck today. The V.P. was pulling weeds in the First Lady's garden when he spotted a strange looking clover. When the VPOTUS looked closer, it was a seven leaf clover...
Read full storyPuppy flushed by 4-year-old: RSPCA blames Andrex adverts
A puppy that was flushed down the toilet by a four-year-old was successfully rescued by a drain cleaning firm yesterday. The puppy was located using sophisticated CCTV equipment and then dragged from the sewer pipe along the street. The RSPCA has...
Read full storyMounds Of Extras To Be Had At Scottish Bank
Following on from a BBC expose and a Westminster Debate, bankers are leaving their jobs on mass and applying for a job at a well known Scottish ex Bank. There are reports of queues outside the Edinburgh Head Office as over 1000 bankers apply for a jo...
Read full storyDutch Queen and her folk give Dutch Cricket team a heroes welcome after stuffing England!
The Dutch cricket team were welcomed home to a heroes welcome in Amsterdam after their astounding victory over England in the 20/20 World Cup. Ticker tape open bus extravaganza, an audience with the Queen, Primeminister, TV interviews, in fact the...
Read full storyComplete Asshole Decides To Move To South Carolina
Complete and utter asshole, and sometime contributor to satirical website www.theSpoof.com Skoob1999 today announced that he's upping sticks and moving to South Carolina with his alluring wife, the wonderful, nay, legendary Mrs Skoob, who cooks a lov...
Read full storyNew York To Cull 2000 Canadians
New York, NY - Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced today that the city will start to cull 2000 Canadians. Citing security reasons for the , the mayor suggested that the cull may become an annual event. "Time and time again it has been proven that Canadians pose the greatest risk to American freedom. They take our jobs, our livelihood, our food, our women. And what do they give back in return? Not...
Read full storyBritney Spears Is Dating Her Agent, Jason Trawick
Kentwood, LA - Britney Spears is dating her agent, Jason Trawick. Mr. Trawick took a rather circuituous route to becoming the agent of one of the most powerful brands in show business, according to several sources. Beginnings Jason started out as a small Louisiana town used car dealer, selling beat up old Mazdas and Toyotas he'd find in the classifieds. At the time he worked under his birth...
Read full storyPresident Ima Dinnerjacket Wins Election - Iran Celebrates
Tehran, Iran - The results in the Iranian national elections are in and winner President MacMoody Ima Dinnerjacket now celebrates by handing out fake rocks, ordered from a special effects supply house, to his citizens. "It is customary," said President Ima Dinnerjacket, "...for the government to allow its people to celebrate the conclusion of an election. We support their efforts by giving them...
Read full story"The Vagina Monologues" comes to David Letterman's rescue from NOW?
New York, New York - Breaking ranks with NOW and the Yah-Yah Sisterhood, "The Vagina Monologues" will now perform their controversial scene as originally written involving the rape of a young 13-year-old girl (since revised to age 16) by an older wom...
Read full storyTourists Say Great Smoky Mountains Getting Too Commercial!
Gatlinburg, Tennessee- Bennie Joe Ellis, a factory worker in Bowling Green, Kentucky, says he has become totally disillusioned about what has happened to the Great Smoky Mountains in east Tennessee. Here's his report in the National Inquisitor: They got a Hard Rock Cafe, Haunted House, Ripley's Believe It Or Not, Witchcraft Museum and Malls! Malls! Balls to Malls!! Back when me an...
Read full storyColonel Gaddafi visits Rome
The leader for life of Libya, Colonel Gaddafi, has arrived in the Italian capital, Rome, for a two day visit. The Libyan leader has decided to visit the Eternal City to acquire a few more assets to increase his considerable wealth. It is said tha...
Read full storyLeonardo DiCaprio Sells Beach House To Show It CAN Be Done!
According to the California Bay Realty Company, Leonardo DiCaprio has sold his house for an estimated $8 million. The star of 'Revolutionary Road' put the Malibu mansion on the market late last year, with an asking price of $7,999,000 and a deal w...
Read full storyPresident Sends Congrats to Hugo
White House (FTB newswire) The White House Press Corps this morning listened intently while the Press Secretary read a letter signed by the President. It congratulated Hugo Chavez on his recent victory in the Iranian elections. The hard fought rac...
Read full storyF1 rules change bombshell
In a staggering reversal of the basic principle of motor racing Bernie Ecclestone, the centenarian F1 boss has planted the goalpost firmly in new territory. "Not only will we be installing energy recuperators in the 2010 season's cars, we will als...
Read full storyPhoenix crop circle predicts Summer Solstice shocker!
Devizes, Wilts - (Armageddinouttahere! Mess): Count on it. Mayan calendar wingnuts are in for one helluva cataclysmic shock. The sudden appearance in a Devizes rapeseed field of a 400 foot Phoenix rising-from-the-asses crop circle has sparked wid...
Read full storySimon Cowell to enter monastery
The recent furore over Susan Boiled led Cowell to re-examine his values and with typical humility, he has decided to undertake monastic vows. "I have been seeking a more spiritual lifestyle for some days" says Simon Cowell during a break from his...
Read full storyJose Canseco diagnosed with small testicles!
Former major leaguer Jose Canseco has been diagnosed with small testicles stemming from his 25 year steroid binge. Doctors are working around the clock to find a cure for this dreaded affliction that can cause low birth weight,ratting on your fri...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Admits That She & Nick Jonas Have Reconnected
According to her interview on The River, 107.5 in Nashville, Tennessee, Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas are back together again. "He's my best friend, and we still hang out all the time, and we've definitely reconnected," the Hannah Montana star told t...
Read full storyThrifty Tips #2
In the second of our occasional series on tips designed to be thrifty and save you money, we are delighted to bring you the second thrifty tip. Recycled Water. This one can be a bit tricky, and you have to watch you don't spill water over the kitchen floor, as you may slip and fall and even hurt yourself, thus potentially making it even thriftier as you may end up in hospital and therefore w...
Read full storyMonkey Related Activity On The Increase - Authorities Baffled
Authorities of varying descriptions here in the UK have been alarmed to note an unprecedented rise in Monkey related activity. They told us that they aren't quite sure what it is about monkeys, or why they seem to have infiltrated the national psyche...
Read full storySherlock Holmes and the Missing Link
As the door bell rang at 223c Baker Street, 'Get that, will you, Watson?' came from Sherlock Holmes, and 'Answer the door, please, Mrs Doil', that doctor said, and soon she was ushering scientist and traveller Charles Darwin into the room. 'Mr Charles Darwin', she announced, and then went away to carry on scrubbing the floors, while Holmes and Watson invited the visitor to take a seat. 'Now, si...
Read full storyAnimal Rights Activists say "Cull Pensioners"
PETA and the ALF have called upon the government to demonstrate consistency with the BSE and Foot and Mouth Disease epidemics of a few years ago. "The government was quick to slaughter and burn the corpses of animals with or liable to catch the di...
Read full storyBaron-Cohen does it again!
In a daring and it must be said, brave performance, Sacha Baron-Cohen has repeated his lap dance for Eminem - only this time, the recipient was Iran's President Avadmedinnerdad. The occasion was glittering - the annual awards ceremony for the Aca...
Read full storyDaniel Radcliffe's Arabic Friend Can't Get Married
Daniel Radcliffe's friend, 56 year old, Abdel Sattar Birakdar, who was born in Iraq, describes the difficulties of trying to get married in a western country where 95% of the land mass is occupied by western Anglos. While staying in Daniel Radcl...
Read full storyAmish Sect Fights for Right to Venerate Shit
The US Constitutional right to freedom of religion has protected believers from armed service, the pledge of allegiance and vital vaccinations for children. The Amish Anabaptist sect has accumulated the most religious liberty lawsuits of all chur...
Read full storyFoxy Knoxy Named Cutthroat Exchange Student of the Year
Amanda Knox dubbed Foxy Knoxy by British tabloids has been named the cut-throat exchange student of the year. Many collegians dream of spending their Junior year abroad. Many hope that European adventure will involve lots of drugs and sex. Some e...
Read full storyCzech Nurses to Be Paid in Silicone
Nursing shortages are plaguing hospitals across the world since very few people want to be underpaid, over worked and overtaxed with bothering with annoying sick people. Signing bonuses, three day work weeks and longer vacations have all ben trie...
Read full storyCollege Student Reports Bing Better Than Google
Greg David, a 20 year old college student at UC Davis, told TheSpoof.com that Microsoft's new search engine Bing is superior to the Google search engine. "I enter the words 'hot springs' in quotes into both Google and Bing. Bing provided me with...
Read full storyAhmadinejad wins beauty pageant, opponents warn of fraud
Iran - In one of the biggest upsets of this decade, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad defeated the favorite to win Miss Iran, 14 year old Annie Beautyface-Asadabad. Donald Trump is set to make a decision on whether or not Mahmoud will keep his crown. Ahmadineja...
Read full storyObama To Close Atlantic And Pacific Oceans
In an effort to exert total control over all aspects of American life, high ranking far-left liberal members of the Obama administration and Congress are rumored to be holding secret talks among themselves regarding closing the oceans bordering the U...
Read full storyTown's Lone Barber Goes Berserk, Gives Everybody The Same Haircut!
Mayberry, North Carolina-A tragic situation has been slowly unfolding here as this town's only barber, Floyd Lawson, went berserk and gave everybody the same haircut. With his irascible disposition, eccentric clothes and strange manner of speakin...
Read full storyMrs Skoob Leaves Loser Husband - Looks For Monkey Woods
Sad news today for Spoof writer Skoob1999 as Mrs Skoob packs her bags and walks away from an eighteen year long relationship. Skoob, who is an absolute prick, told us: "I love that woman. We went to Barcelona and Rome together. We walked the le...
Read full storyMelissa Gilbert's New Book "Life Was Different Than 'Prairie'"
The Little House on the Prairie child star's new tell-all Prairie Tale recounts how her life disintegrated after starring on the long-running series with TV daddy Michael Landon! By the time she was 20 she had 3 nose jobs, a face lift, booze drive...
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