Written by Adam Click

Monday, 15 June 2009

image for Town's Lone Barber Goes Berserk, Gives Everybody The Same Haircut!
Cousins Gomer and Goober Pyle are among the berserk barber's many victims.

Mayberry, North Carolina-A tragic situation has been slowly unfolding here as this town's only barber, Floyd Lawson, went berserk and gave everybody the same haircut.

With his irascible disposition, eccentric clothes and strange manner of speaking, Mayberry's barber always stood out, but folks around here are used to eccentric behavior and most just looked the other way. In the process they ignored a growing problem. That is until everybody in the whole town, man, woman and child, all started sporting the same look.

"It was the kind of subtle insanity you don't notice at first because you can't acknowledge the reality of the situation. But when you wake up in the morning, roll over, and realize that your wife has the same haircut you do, well then you have to accept that something's wrong." explained Sherriff Andrew Taylor.

Actually it was Deputy Barney Fife who finally put an end to the madness by arresting Floyd and having him committed to the state hospital at Raleigh. "When something like this develops you've got to nip it...nip it in the bud!" The nervous deputy was quoted as saying at the time of Mr. Lawsons arrest.

"Poor Floyd! I guess the pressure was just too much for him." said customer Gomer Pyle. "His whole life was hair. It was all he knew." added Gomer's cousin, Goober. Both, of course, were sporting the same haircut. When asked if he could ever trust Mr. Lawson again the sherriff said: "Oh, I supose I'll still let him cut my hair every now and then, but only if his doctor is present and his scissors are dull.".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Haircut




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