Spring Hills, MI - After months of bizarre speculation it has been confirmed that there is, in fact, a reportedly heterosexual man who has not (yet) seen Paris Hilton Naked. Darrin Thorne a 33-year-old Spring Hills, Michigan resident, who supposedly is not blind, living in a cave or without internet access, says glancing upon the frequently exposed nude body of Hilton was something he just "never got around to."
Among the many lame excuses Thorne cited were his full-time job, "busy" social life and the medical emergencies of his 8-year-old son. "I guess I just didn't see it as a big priority," Thorne apologetically insists.
When informed of Thorne's existence and alerted to the possibility of perhaps as many as 5 or 6 other men who have yet to lay eyes on her nude body, a saddened but determined Hilton concluded "I guess I'll just have to soldier on until my work is done."
