Grape Drink Powder is Flavor of Choice for Homicidal Cult Leaders

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Monday, 19 January 2009

image for Grape Drink Powder is Flavor of Choice for Homicidal Cult Leaders
The flavor of choice of the passengers of the Hale Bopp comet

The Reverend Jim Jones used it in the People's Temple deaths in Guyana in November of 1978. The Heaven's Gate cult had a pitcher of it cooling in the refrigerator when they all committed suicide to travel on the Hale Bopp comet in 1997. David Koresh had cases of it on order for his Branch Davidian compound outside Waco, Texas in 1993.

Due to it's high popularity among suicidal cult leaders, the manufacturer is now marketing their grape flavor packages as "The Choice for Homicidal Maniacs Everywhere."

When asked if he ever used the flavor before his "Helter Skelter" rampages, Charles Manson said that "man, it makes Scotch and Water go down so smooth. We always kept a big supply at the ranch."

"The boys," said one parent of the Columbine killers who refused to be identified, "drank almost nothing else. They wouldn't touch the tropical punch or the black cherry or even the lemon lime. It was always grape for those boys."

With this announcement by the manufacturer, sales of the grape flavored fruit drink increased dramatically among glass wearing, role playing, outcast nerds and questionable televangelists all around the country.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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