Ed Balls rebrands as X

Funny story written by dannline

Friday, 13 February 2009

image for Ed Balls rebrands as X
Ed Balls rebrands himself

Kiddy minister Ed Balls is to legally change his name to Ed X.

Brown über-underling Ball has taken the decision to rebrand himself to make himself more accessible.

"People say I am out of touch - but Ed X will be absolutely down with Generation X," he said.

X's (né Balls) Treasury wife Yvette Cooper is not to change her name nor - despite rumours - rebrand as The Coop.

A Department for Children, Schools and Forced Parental Love spokesfriend said: "The secretary of state saw how the kids latched on to the DVD release of Denzel Washington's 1992 movie Malcolm X, and he feels the department - or Belief as he now calls it - as well as himself will re-engage the youth.

"X believes the Belief will now he able to cut knife crime by an amount."

Criticism that Malcolm X was released in 1992, Generation X refers to those now in their 30s and Malcolm X was a leader of the Nation of Islam have been brushed under the carpet.

"Look, Ed X listens to Radiohead and saw Lost once," the Belief for Children, Schools and Forced Parental Love chant coordinator ejaculated.

Gordon Brown has said to have backed Ed X in his move - in an "anything might work" stance.

Nick MC Cleggmiester, Lib Dem Shank food shooter, said something completely ignored and probably badly timed and hardly germane like he does at every Prime Minister Questions while his cabal of equidistant MPs waited for the next election and either four more years of his failures or a new excuse for a party leader while ignoring Vince Cable as they only man who could increase their electoral share.

Ed X - previously rumoured to be a second term Labour leader in opposition - denied suggestions he was being punished for suggesting the current recession will be like a nuclear winter like off that TV programme.

"Whatever, right. I'm Ed X. If you don't like it, fuck off. Belief will touch every child in the country. Shit, I don't mean touch like Gary Glitter, touch like engage, man," the minister told reporters.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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