Laptop Must be Found - Police Ask Public for Help

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Friday, 13 February 2009

image for Laptop Must be Found - Police Ask Public for Help

Using technology that is designed to identify computer viruses, the Metropolitan Police today began the hunt for a laptop PC that was left in the back of a taxi yesterday. Police were guarded about providing many details, but said that it was a matter of National Security.

In an unprecedented step they have released what is known as a 'signature file' to be included in all the main anti virus systems. This will then be used to identify the missing laptop and signal its location to the authorities.

They are urging anyone who does not get automatic updates to their virus files to load the following into their virus checking program:

#### Virus Signature 07894- release 01 ####
[HRH The Q was tagged in an album: State Opening of Parliament][HRH The Q and President Barack Obama are now friends via the People You May Know tool.][HRH The Q became a fan of HBO's The Sopranos][HRH The Q accepted a Diamond Tiara from Albert II, King of the Belgians using International Royalty Gifts][HRH The Q is feeding the dogs, then is so off for a large Lochnagar and a packet of grand duchy organic pork scratchings 21:13][- - WindsorBoy at 21:27][- - Have one for me! I'm stuck in some bloody awful reception][Show 3 more comments…][Write a comment…][Gordy Brown mentioned HRH in his note Saving the World][HRH The Q wrote on Gordy Brown's Wall 21:44][HRH The Q is watching 24 on DVD][HRH The Q is Yo! Flunky! Where's the Landrover? 15:34][- - Fresh_Prince_of_Bel_Moral at 21:49][- - Use the quadbike you daft old thing][Write a comment…][HRH The Q commented on DameHelen's note Like Sisters!][HRH The Q attended Trooping of the Colour - Comment - Like][- - PrincessAnne99 at 12:02][- - Yay - just saw your horse poop on TV!][- - WindsorBoy at 12:13][- - Everyone saw it! Take the shame!][Write a comment…][HRH The Q was tagged in 1,432,677 photos][HRH The Q has changed their website][HRH The Q is now friends with Tim-Berners-Lee]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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