World's Most-Sexed Man Did Something Else Instead Yesterday
The world's most-sexed man, who engages in full-blown sex as many as 20 times each and every day, had a day off yesterday, and did something else. Carlos Coccolini, an Argentinian, decided that, after more than 20 years of endless shagging, he nee...
Read full storyResearcher: Lincoln Was A Homo
An archeological and historical artifact researcher at University of Texas in Dallas has discovered some crucial evidence pertaining to the 10-year-old question: Was Abraham Lincoln a homosexual? Dr. Jamen D. Annis discovered several photographs d...
Read full storyOrgan Donors Complain Over Potential Online Donorage Errors
A new proposal plan to allow hospital doctors to remove vital organs for transplant from dying patients, whether or not they carry Donor Cards, has come under fire from people who are worried they may be sliced open against their will. Prime Minis...
Read full storyI'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here Joe Swash Eats Cockroach, And Crocodile Penis And Balls
The ITV show I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, got under way yesterday, and immediately got into the swing of things, with EastEnders actor Joe Swash the star attraction. Swash, who plays Mickey Miller in the miserable BBC1 soap, complained abo...
Read full storyVictoria Secret's Costume Blunder in Miami
The stage was set, the lighting and background music was tested and the 24 Victoria Secret models were ready to go for the 2008 Winter Fashion Show in Miami, all without a single costume backstage. The logistics blunder was caught the evening before...
Read full storyU.N. appoints Angelina-Jolie to Special New Post: "Wet-Nurse" Envoy to the Third World
New York, New York - In addition to her current responsibilities to the United Nations as its Goodwill Ambassador, the international award wining movie star/humanitarian, Angelina-Jolie, has just been appointed special "Wet-Nurse" envoy to the Third...
Read full storyFood and Drink To Have Health Warnings
The World Health Organisation has announced plans to have health warnings placed on the packaging of 'high risk' foods. The move comes in an effort to combat the worldwide 'Epidemics' of Diabetes and Heart disease. The campaign will be similar...
Read full storyNashville Dad Presents Own Version of Indiana Jones
Determined to make his son's birthday dreams come true despite deep financial woes, Gary Lonas Wilson of Nashville, Tennessee spent late Saturday night practicing and four hours in his backyard Sunday acting out the latest Indiana Jones movie. "...
Read full storyMichael Buble' and Harry Connick Jr. Cover the 80's
Soon to be released for the Christmas season, two velvet voiced crooners team up to cover some the best heavy metal and progressive rock band hits from the 80's. Widely popular for bringing back music from the Sinatra-influenced swing era, both Bubl...
Read full storyBarack Obama Declares Bible Law
Yesterday, Barack "Alleluia" Obama, accompanied by Led Zeppelin, burst into Hooters, New York, and declared Bible law, just after ordering a Hooters Cobb Salad. "I am sick and tired of aging rockers and Democrats over tipping topless waitresses a...
Read full storyStudent pirate prank went "too far"
A group of drunk students who dressed up as pirates and hijacked an oil tanker off the coast of Somalia are said to be in "big trouble" when they return to lessons. The students from Grimsby University, were celebrating International Pirate Day ab...
Read full storyDeeper Meaning To Gilligan's Island?
Jasper, Georgia resident Ray Donnie Singletary, 45, blasted traditional American methods of viewing episodic television Monday at the Georgia Cracker Restaurant, proclaiming that watching a series on DVD is "the only way to go." "There's no comme...
Read full storyWhite House State Dinner Ruined By Flying Roaches
Washington DC-- Yesterday's State dinner held at the White House for the G-20 summit was marred by millions of enormous flying roaches. The white-tie event was to honor the most rich and powerful people in the world but it ended in a blizzard of bug...
Read full storyBush To Obama: Bring It On!
Washington DC: President George Bush officially responded to the Barack and Michelle Obama visit last week by calling a press conference this morning in front of the White House. "We challenge Joe Obama, Barack Biden and all the elected democrats...
Read full storyFrench 'Virgin' Ruling Reversed on Appeal
A French court of appeal has overruled the decision to annul the marriage of two Muslims because the bride had lied about being a virgin. Fatima Ras al-Slapper had married Ratchit al Haj bin Wankin in a Kandahar-style Muslim wedding ceremony in t...
Read full storyThe Pope banned from Italian Quiz Show
Pope Benedict has been banned from appearing on an Italian television game show due to fears that he might use his 'papal infallibility' to beat all the other contestants. The pontiff - whose chosen subject was to be 'altar boys of the late 20th C...
Read full storyIrish Politician Adopts Obama Campaign Slogan (Kind of)
Irish Prime Ministerial hopeful Dr Shameless Flattery has adopted or rather 'adapted' the Obama campaign slogan in his run up to the Irish General Election. "NO WE CAN'T" Speaking to assembled journalists at the start of his election campaign M...
Read full storyMichael Jackson is Japanese Emperor Aki-Shit-Ho's nephew London bankruptcy lawsuit alleges
London - (Chiller Mess): The Chrysanthemum Puppet Throne stands in the dock at the Royal Courts of Justice this week accused of a sordid cover-up involving the tribute artiste known as Michael Jackson, Yoko Ono and Japanese Emperor Aki-Shit-Ho. Ja...
Read full storyObama 'Troubled' By Mother Teresa Dream
In an interview with Larry King, President Elect Barack Obama revealed that he had been visited by Mother Teresa in a dream and that he was 'troubled' by it. In a candid interview with the braced and bespectacled talk show host Obama confessed tha...
Read full storyRacist White Backlash follows Obama Victory
Red Neck, Alabama - Just within two weeks of Barack Obama's historic win as the first African-American presidential candidate, ugly signs of racist white backlash are beginning to appear across America. Widespread incidents are reported from Main...
Read full storySmashing Pumpkins Set Reunion Tour for 2009
With the last hurdle finally overcome, Billy Corrigan has signed a one-year deal to bring the famous modern rock band back together for a series of tour dates starting in September 2009. Labeled as the "Literal Tour", the Pumpkins will book 12 d...
Read full storyCocaine Found on Mars
While the NASA funded Mars Rover continues to send back landscape pictures and topographical maps of its pre-programmed search area, Rover number one nicknamed "Spirit", accidentally stumbled into a large crater filled with fine tan colored powder.
Read full story£330 Million Military 'Super-Billet' Opens Doors
The biggest army base in the UK has officially opened after a £330 million makeover, with thousands of troops moving to the camp in North Smegmashire. The previous civilian residents of the site, formerly the Smegmadale Asbo Sink Estate, were relo...
Read full storySomali pirates sieze super tanker
Somali Pirates dressed as characters from Pirates of the Caribbean took control of the Sirius Star in the Gulf of Aden. The super tanker visible on Google Earth it is that large had a crew of four who were taken by surprise by the Captain Jack Spa...
Read full storyWhat Is The Purpose For Having Jobcentres?
It has been revealed that during the early 1970s when economic times were getting harder and the government wanting to make unemployment look better, with so many looking for work the best thing to kill two birds with one stone was to create a new go...
Read full story"HollyTube" Beats YouTube as Top Video Site
Sponsored by three major Hollywood studios, the new HollyTube Website was released last month to rave reviews and an immediate high volume of subscribers. The star laden web video franchise has been featuring rare hidden camera bits captured fro...
Read full storyIs Brenda Song pregnant with Joe Jonas' baby?
Is Brenda Song really pregnant? Is that a baby bump? Is Joe Jonas the father? Many question and the answer to two of them is yes…although...to be more accurate...no. I asked Brenda (who lives round the block from me) if she was pregnant and aft...
Read full storyWe're "fucked" explains leading economist
Leon Barkowski with the Rand Institute said in an unprecedented display of candor on Meet the Press Sunday: "We have reached an unmatched level of incompetence at all levels of government and the financial institutions. I mean you only have to ta...
Read full storyBrazil's Bean Counters Are Has Beans
Sao Paulo - 4067 Bean counters from a Sao Paulo bean packing factory are calling on comrades throughout the country to come out on strike in support of their impending redundancy. Factory owners have decided to dispense of human bean counters, who...
Read full storyCompany that makes oversized scissors for ceremonial ribbon cuttings bracing for downturn
Cutting Edge Ceremonial Ribbon Separators are bracing themselves for the worst this week, fearing severe impact from the economic downturn. CEO Ralph Snips explains; "As the failing economy continues to threaten new bridge, public works, malls and...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's David Archuleta dating British singer Adele
London, England - American Idol's David Cook singer of "Light On" has a girlfriend, the semi-talented singer Kimberly Caldwell, well apparently the 2nd place winner of Season 7 American Idol has is own warbling songstress. Reports are coming out...
Read full storyEta Held In France
The suspected military chief of the Basque separatist group, Eta, has been arrested in southern France, the French interior minister has announced. Carina Eta, who is also an amateur satirist on satirical news website TheSpoof.com, was taken into...
Read full storyBeatles to release new song
Sir Paul McCartney revealed today that a previously unheard Beatles track is in his possession. The ten minute instrumental with a few moments of lyrics was created for an avant garde music festival, but it was decided that it was too rubbish to play...
Read full storyHave a heart
A system of presumed consent for organ donation was rejected today after a panel of experts investigated organ donation across the world. Spain has the highest rate of organ donation in the world, and has been running a presumed consent system for...
Read full storyCops use sperm to nab horny burglar
LYNCHING, Va. - A prosecutor says sperm stains led police in Vancouver to a suspect with sticky fingers. Assistant Attorney Bertha Jackson said Lynching police matched stains on an penis enlarger left at the scene of a breaking and entering to 63...
Read full storyObama vows to shut down boys club
President-elect Barack Bleach Obama said he would shut down the Guantanamo Bay boys club and rebuild a red light area ''America's best sex adventure park in the world.'' "I have said repeatedly that I intend to close Guantanamo bay boys club, and...
Read full storyBoom Time USA! 1000's Job's 100's Factories!
Tens of Thousands are flocking to one American city which has defied the economic gloom and is booming. This beacon of hope for a new prosperity is a once small but now rapidly expanding city in America's mid west. Newspapers and TV scream the hea...
Read full storyNZ Weather To Improve Under New Government
New Zealands's weather is set to improve under the new National Government led by incoming Prime Minister the Rt Honourable John Key MP. The Department of Environment is to use 'Cloud Seeding' a technique the Chinese authorities used successfully...
Read full storyShuttle Endless links with petrol station
CAPE CARNIVAL, Fla. - Space shuttle Endless linked with a petrol station on Sunday, kicking off a huge home makeover that will allow twice as many astronauts to fuel up beginning next year. Commander Christopher Reeves guided the shuttle to a smo...
Read full storyGays fight near Nipples
Stoke On Trent, Italy - Road sweepers and toilet cleaners had barely taken up position in the shopping centre when gay mobsters decided to show who was boss. On a sleepy Friday night, a few hundred yards from where the gay community were bumming a...
Read full storyStudy: Pills do not prevent premature ejaculation
Vitamin K or Y pills do not help prevent premature ejaculation in men, concludes the same big study that last week found these supplements ineffective for warding off piles. The public has been cheated by good and bad news about vitamins, much of...
Read full storyPlane slides up runway trying to take off while landing
TOKYO - A RUSSIAN Airways Express airliner slid down a runway Sunday during an emergency landing while taking off without its landing gear. No injuries were reported. The Pakistan-bound Hassolhoff Dash-69 turbodrop, operated by Pissed Airlines, to...
Read full storyYou Buy One You Get One Free! I Say You Buy One You Get One Free!!!
Westminster - Conservative party leader 'Do Nothing' Dave Cameron announced his brilliant plan to lead Britain out of a looming recession this morning. Do Nothing Dave, speaking from somewhere in the nether regions of an Amsterdam ping-pong ladybo...
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