Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 17 November 2008

image for I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here Joe Swash Eats Cockroach, And Crocodile Penis And Balls
You want salt and vinegar with that, love?

The ITV show I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, got under way yesterday, and immediately got into the swing of things, with EastEnders actor Joe Swash the star attraction.

Swash, who plays Mickey Miller in the miserable BBC1 soap, complained about being famished, and of "missing McDonalds". He subsequently reached down onto the jungle floor, and gobbled down a cockroach. He told Geordie hosts Ant and Dec:

"Mmmm. Nice."

Bolstered by his ability to keep the disgusting insects down, he looked around for more 'food', and discovered some silkworm larvae, and an old crocodile penis and testicles, which he wolfed down with gusto.

Swash is used to having to put up with substandard food, as he regularly dines at the Albert Square cafe owned by Ian Beale, and has already eaten a variety of cockroaches there. The 26-year-old told McPartlin and Donnelly:

"Worrr! This is great! Can't wait for the Bushtucker wosname!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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