"HollyTube" Beats YouTube as Top Video Site

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 17 November 2008

image for "HollyTube" Beats YouTube as Top Video Site
The Back Lot Bitch

Sponsored by three major Hollywood studios, the new HollyTube Website was released last month to rave reviews and an immediate high volume of subscribers.

The star laden web video franchise has been featuring rare hidden camera bits captured from each studio's back lot. Recently viewed video clips include major stars engaging in questionable activity in dressing rooms and behind studio trailers. Where recording session bloopers and paparazzi confrontations had been the bread and butter of its competitor YouTube, HollyTube videos carry more star power and better interpersonal scenarios.

"There's nothing like seeing two major stars sucking face behind the makeup trailer, especially when they're both married to other people", says HollyTube producer Mel Anoma. "We've got cameras inside trailers, around the lot and especially backstage at each recording session. We get all the good stuff."

Noticing the relative tame nature of some of the posted videos, one reported asked, "I would have expected to see something better than a make out session. You said you have cameras everywhere?" Anoma responded, "Yes, well we do edit some of the video based on strong objection and a donation to our HollyTube project. It's amazing really how drug use, extramarital affairs and bestiality caught on video will motivate someone to make a donation. Let's just say we're well funded."

Following Anoma's comments, reporters asked about the revenue from HollyTube in relation to regular movie ticket sales. Anoma responded, "It has helped to offset sliding ticket sales. With website subscription fees and A-List celebrity 'donations', we are quite profitable." Questioned further about the quality of content with celebrities buying their way off the video clip market, Anoma responded, "Not to worry, there's plenty of B-Listers out there without the cash to stop publication and besides, it gives them free publicity. So what if they like screwing goats behind the trailer, people WILL remember their name."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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