CPS KO Eubank
Police throughout the United Kingdom have been mobilised in a search for missing criminal and former boxer Chris Eubank after he was found guilty of a breach of the Serious and Organised Crime Act.
Read full storyHN51 Virus: Risk to Domestic Cats in Prospect
A radical group of ornithologists, The Great-Tits Appreciation Society, today issued a communique warning of the dangers to cats posed by the HN51 Bird Flu Virus.
Read full storyDoctor Who?
There was consternation amongst the kings of Science Fiction geekery, when not one, but two Doctor Whos appeared on the BBC's charity flagship show, Children in Need.
Read full storyBarry Bonds; all other players indicted for steroid abuse
Barry Bonds and every other Major League Baseball player over the past eight years have been indicted for steroid abuse, according to BALCO investigators.
Read full storyPakistan's Musharraf shuffles deck chairs on the Titanic - trots out "Silly Bugger" interim govt - US pleased as punch!!
"Today we are creating history because never has Pakistan seen such a smooth transition of government. I Take Pride in the fact that Being a Man in Uniform I have Actually Introduced the Essence of Democ...
Read full storyDolphins Replace Cleo Lemon With Jack Lemmon
The Miami Dolphins have benched Cleo Lemon in favour of Oscar-winning actor Jack Lemmon, as the fish look to avoid an oh and sixteen season.
Read full storyHell's Kitchen Chef Moderates Democratic Debate in Vegas
"You candidates are all fake Presidents, and all of your answers are canned and prepackaged. I want you to use fresh ingredients from scratch from now on." These were the opening instructions to all of the Democratic contenders in the debat...
Read full storyElvis was the King Clone - more to follow!
According to 'The Scalpel' medical journal, it was revealed that in the not-so-distant future, when scientists have perfected the cloning technique, they have decided that each person should have a copy, which would be stored...
Read full storyBorn-again, Torn-again 'virgins' - spark new Islamic cult!!
[Dateline Londonistan]: Just when it seemed that Islamic fundamentalism couldn't get any more extreme, a new study has revealed that social regression
Read full storyJK Rowling "Outs" Hagrid as Bestiality Practitioner
(Manchester, UK, Nov 16) In a further surprise announcement about the sexual proclivities of one of the characters of the popular children's Harry Potter series, author JK Rowling has announced that "in my mind, Rubeus Hagrid was always in...
Read full story'People' Magazine says Spongebob Squarepants is Sexiest Man Alive
People Magazine has bestowed the honor of "Sexiest Man Alive" upon popular childrens TV star Spongebob Squarepants in its latest issue, on sale now.
Read full storyLittle Boys recruiting donors for Rudy Giuliani Campaign
A rising tide of envy and outright jealousy describes how GOP Republican Presidential candidates regard the phenomenal success of the Ron Paul campaign.
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens flying to London for quicky virginity-repair op
Harley Street, London - (Hymen Mess): High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens is rumored to be on her way to the UK for a quickie hymen-fixing operation on the National Health Service.
Read full storySaudi Ambassador to London in the dock on £3 million gun-buying rampage
London - (Diplomatic Immunity Mess): If last month's Halloween official state visit by the king of Sordid Arabia may have seemed a little frosty in diplomatic circles there is certainly worse to come.
Read full storyWinehouse tour manager quits amid passive crack smoke complaint
Birmingham - (Powerlessness Mess): Too many crack cocaine fumes in Amy Winehouse's touring bus have been blamed on her manager Thom Stone quitting just days after the start of her UK sell-out tour.
Read full storyGeorge Foreman Unveils New Line of Fashion
Atlanta, Georgia (IP) - Famous boxing champion and businessman George Foreman has unveiled a new line of clothing. He has gone on a whirlwind tour of all the morning television talk shows as well as the Oprah show and on Jay Leno over the last two w...
Read full storyInternet Use While Under the Influence; Crackdown Underway
Madrid Spain, Spain (IP) - Interpol is coordinating a worldwide crackdown against persons using the internet while under the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs or even pharmaceuticals capable of impairing judgement.
Read full storyUS Dollar Rises as FBI Confiscates Gold
U.S. Federal authorities have begun confiscating gold and and other precious metals from private holdings in the United States. Beginning with the raids yesterday in Evansville Illinois as FBI agents seized over 2 tons of privately owned bullion from...
Read full storyBoom! To US Economy as Jay-Z Drops the Dollar
It was announced earlier this morning that the formidable rap royalty collaboration Jay-Z and Beyonce plan to expand their empire to another level with the extension of their brand to a whole new currency
Read full storyFrance: Striker Sect awaits doomsday
About 100,000 members of an eccentric public servant sect have retreated to the European capital of Paris, where they have been in a stand off with authorities. The so called orthodox French Liberal Unioners of Faith "FLUF ", spread on t...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse: "Just kidding!"
World famous artist, Amy Winehouse has announced to the world that her current antics are just a hoax.
Read full storyHillary "the Fabulous Moolah" Clinton mud wrestles with all the boys in Vegas
Rivaling the World Wrestling Federation in action, six democratic hopeful presidential candidates went at it in a scheduled 10-round mud wrestling contest last night in Vegas.
Read full storyHooters Waitress, Kyla Ebbert, loses carry-on luggage during Southwest flight to Playboy.com interview; in-flight nudity, body shots and debauchery
San Diego, California - In an attempt to make amends to Hooters waitress, Kyla Ebbert, for forcing her off their flight for wearing allegedly scantily clad clothing, Southwest Airlines offered to fly Ebbert to her Playboy.com interview free of charge...
Read full storyRon Paul Accused of Raising Too Much Money
"Who the hell does he think he is, Bill Clinton?" This, Mrs. Clinton's angry response to hearing Ron Paul's one day fundraising amount on his website creations.
Read full storyPolice Train Alligators to Eat Fleeing Car Thieves in Florida
Car thieves in Florida, beware! Using the Pavlov's dog training technique, every time a car alarm goes off gators start eating everyone in sight that is in a hurry.
Read full storyPope Changes Name to Ron Paul I, Endorses Candidate
The current pontiff, thinking he has some PR problems, has, in an unprecedented move, changed his name to Ron Paul I. "It rhymes with John Paul, and he is a really neat guy who doesn't like the war in Iraq, and besides, he is a veteran who w...
Read full storyPope to Recruit New Coach for Notre Dame Football Team
Rumor has it the pontiff will be in the US early next year to recruit Jimmy Johnson to coach Notre Dame to a championship year.
Read full storyRon Paul Buying Dallas Cowboys
Ron Paul will buy The Dallas Cowboys football team, citing how George Bush used to own The Texas Rangers baseball team, also based in The Dallas, TX Area. "If you own a team that plays in that part of the state, it should increase your chances o...
Read full storyMusharraf Quits Pakistan, Takes Over 7-11 Chain in US
Former ruler Musharraf has seized power over all 7-11s in the US, claiming Pakistanis are tired of just working in the stores, and should now also have the management of the company as well. "I thought of a hotel chain, but the Indians have that...
Read full storyChina to Move Manufacturing Plants to US
Tired of public outcry about lead paint on toys, poison in other products, China has announced it is fed up with the workers and greedy plant owners inside the borders, and will instead move manufacturing plants to the US, where environmental regulat...
Read full storyAdd Gators to Rio Grande to Stop Illegal Immigration, Say Texas Mayors
Texas Mayors had a conference yesterday in Austin which had two recommendations for stemming the tide of illegal immigration. First, widen The Rio Grande, second, add alligators to it. This will both discourage attempts, and remove unwanted brave sou...
Read full storyRon Paul Look-a-Like Pizza Auctioned on eBay for $1.9 Million
A pizza that looked so much like Ron Paul that Hillary Clinton threatened to use it as a voodoo doll has sold on eBay for $1.9 million. Word has it Republican contenders has purchased it and plan to use it for TV commercials over the next 2 months.
Read full storyU.S. Drivers Celebrate Road Rage Day
Drivers throughout the U.S. will be celebrating the 1st annual Road Rage Day tomorrow, starting at 7:00AM local time and continuing through the evening rush hour. In anticipation of Road Rage Day drivers in major U.S. cities today were testing their...
Read full story