France: Striker Sect awaits doomsday

Funny story written by Agamemnon

Friday, 16 November 2007

image for France: Striker Sect awaits doomsday
Gerard Creve rallying believers

About 100,000 members of an eccentric public servant sect have retreated to the European capital of Paris, where they have been in a stand off with authorities. The so called orthodox French Liberal Unioners of Faith "FLUF ", spread on the roads about three days ago and say they will stay around disrupting services and making life more difficult for the rest of 10.5m inhabitants of the capital until the apocalypse (fiscal catastrophe) they expect takes place.

Gerard Creve, the sect's 50-year-old leader preaches continuation of pay for no-jobs and full pension rights at the age of 40. "Les public servants of France demandez their rights" he said addressing his followers. " They say that the public pension system cannot support our kind in the long term. I say merde. I say lets all stoically await the Armageddon of fiscal collapse out on the roads doing nothing. I say lets not change our ancient ways, our tradition of being PAID for doing absolutely nothing. This mystical art cannot perish; we are the last of the true druids" he concluded amongst cheers from the gathered crowd.

Police officers are baffled by the persistence of the sect followers, who have been in the streets for many days. When asked, FLUF member Gerome Donossing was quoted saying " I would like to go home and take a shower and a crap but because of the strike I cannot take a train back to my house while all the main highways are blocked by our protesting kind. It's a 10 min walk to the last operational train station but my public servant train pass expired and I cannot renew it cause our rail followers joined the strike. There is no way I will pay 3 Euros like all other people for the ticket - I did not suck to my village MP to become a public servant, to end up actually PAYING for services. So I'm stuck here. I've hit a wall."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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