CPS KO Eubank

Funny story written by Shaun Ferguson

Friday, 16 November 2007

image for CPS KO Eubank
Police block Eubank's moped

Police throughout the United Kingdom have been mobilised in a search for missing criminal and former boxer Chris Eubank after he was found guilty of a breach of the Serious and Organised Crime Act.

The verdict was declared in absentia when Eubank failed to appear at the City of Westminster Magistrates' Court due to difficulties in parking his American built 18-wheeler truck in London's Horseferry Road.

The prize fighter turned pacifist is accused of unlawful demonstration arsing from an incident earlier this year whilst riding his 50 cc Honda moped.

The vehicle which Eubank was driving along Whitehall was emblazoned with hate filled and inciting slogans including, "Democracy cannot be exported with a gun", "Mr Brown … you can be the great leader and the great peace maker" and "This is not a protest", when he mistakenly turned into Downing Street.

An off duty police constable returning from a Health and Safety discussion group witnessed the incident and seized the opportunity to make up his monthly arrest quota.

While many have found the actions of the police and Criminal Prosecution Service disproportionate, they have defended their actions by saying it will act as a deterrent to protesters burning the Union Jack, dismembering effigies of the Queen and demanding the beheading of kaffirs.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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