Katie Holmes Has Lost More Than Her Mind
The once adorable star of "Dawson's Creek," known for her spunky attitude and girl-next-door appeal, has been wasting away recently. This vanishing act is latest of the once hopeful young starlet's dwindling existence.
Read full storyPolice Issue New I-Fit
Police trialling new i-fit software have released a picture of a man they want to question in connection with a series of outrages and crimes, to dastardly to mention.
Read full storyNaked fishermen 1066 and all that
The unusual Hastings fisherman's huts on the sea front in Sussex England have been uncovered for what they really are.
Read full storyBritney back in rehab: bookies say 5/4 that medics will boot her out by Thursday
Los Angeles - (Rotters): Celebrity internet bookmakers Aintgottaprayer.com is quoting odds of 5/4 that Britney Spears will be booted out of the LA rehab that her mother packed her off to this morning after a slanging match lasting all night.
Read full storyHancock's wooden leg cover up
Tony Hancock (1924-1968) the English comedian, actor and all round entertainer best known for his radio show Hancock's Half Hour had a wooden leg.
Read full storyGoldilocks Gets a 'Britney' Buzz Cut from Baby Bear
In a stunning confession today, a defiant Baby Bear took the blame for shearing off the beautiful golden locks of the pint-sized home invader the press calls Goldilocks.
Read full storyReal Madrid sign new "wonder kid"
Madrid- Earlier Today the Chairman of Spanish giants; Futbol clube de Real Madrid announced to members of the world's waiting media ,that after intense negotiations with the player's Brazilian club, they had finally captured the signature of...
Read full storyImportant changes in the way we report crime
It's been leaked today that dramatic changes in the way crime is to be reported to the Police by members of the general public, will be set in place by July 1st 2007...
Read full storyHitler's Ladyboys!
Berlin - When the old eastern bloc finally crumbled in upon it's own decaying Stalinist foundations; it wasn't only hordes of badly dressed east Germans that flocked into the gaudy neon strasses of west Berlin; following closely behind the mu...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan & Britney Spears In Lesbo Sex-romp During Terrifying Alien Abduction
Spoof writer, Duff, has today claimed that he hasn't a Scooby-doo, who the feck Lindsay Lohan is but has vowed that if she puts bums on seats, then she's the gal for him.
Read full storyJesus Crucified After Losing Pub Quiz
Fragments from the Scrolls of Qumran which have been digitally enhanced, have given biblical scholars a fresh insight into Christ's last days.
Read full storyCheney backpeddles on Britney paternity claims
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Wanting to look just like Daddy! That was the bizarre claim on Capitol Hill today as officials in Vice President Dick Cheney's office admitted that a twentyfive year old secret is about to burst its seams as toxic and...
Read full storyGod Announces Recall of Bald, Drunk Britney Spears
In a prepared statement, God has announced a recall of Britney Spears, in light of her recent escapades - from drunken partying to her on-again, off-again rehab, to publicly shaving her head.
Read full storyCharles begins new crack deal Gulf tour
Clarence House - (Rotters): The Pretender to the Throne and his fag-hag Camilla have arrived in a chartered A310 jumbo at the tiny desert emirate of Kuwait on the first arm and leg of a ten day Gulf tour where he hopes to negotiate the next ten yea...
Read full storyMorticians claim Anna Nicole's body has made a new Turin Shroud
Florida - (Rioters): The embalmed body of Playboy centerfold Anna Nicole Smith has startled Fort Lauderdale morticians after a Turin Shroud-like imprint was found festooning the sheet that covered her remains ahead of next week's funeral.
Read full storyTom Cruise admits, 'Mel Gibson felt my ass and rubbed Britney Spears' pussy'
Actor, Tom Cruise, told reporters today that during filming of 'The Man of La Mancha', Australian superstar, Mel Gibson, felt his ass.
Read full storyBNP see red over black blues band
British National Party leader, Nick Griffen, saw red last night after a BNP fundraiser went tits up.
Read full storyNew JFK motorcade footage shows sniper Bush Jr
Dallas, Texas - (Rotters): Newly discovered footage of President John F Kennedy's last moments shows an armed George Bush Jr stalking the motorcade with personal alibi the Reverend Pat Robertson camouflaged as Noel 'Grassy' Noel just mome...
Read full storyFears for Lindsay Lohan's sanity as she shaves off her pubic hair
There were fears over the sanity of actress, Lindsay Lohan, last night after it was revealed that she had shaved off her pubic hair.
Read full storyWembley To Be Abandoned
Any hope of this year's FA Cup Final, between Chelsea and Plymouth, being held at the new Wembley stadium has been destroyed amidst claims that the entire stadium project has been abandoned by contractors Multiplex Construction.
Read full storyBush Admits He "Is Not In the Slightest Like George Washington"
MOUNT VERNON, VIRGINA (AP) -- Marking George Washington's 275th birthday, President Bush on Monday admitted that he "is not in the slightest like the first American president George Washington" since he has betrayed Washington's ide...
Read full storyBritney Spears In Syrup Sensation
Britney Spears was seen out and about days after shaving her head but wearing a syrup.
Read full story'Year of the Pig' Sets Off Increased Muslim Outrage
A diplomatic row has broken out between the leaders of China and some Islamic states, due to an astrological anomaly and a pig. The animal in question isn't real, but the controversy surrounding it certainly is, and the UN Security Council has cal...
Read full storyFinal NEW Seven Wonders of the World Chosen
ZURICH (Reuterz) - After months of calculation and endless nights of computer tallying a list of architectural achievement of the NEW millennium has been chosen. Many grand and beautiful buildings and monuments known to man were in the running the w...
Read full storyMale Lactation All the Rage!
Scientific advances in breast-feeding are not just limited to females. Hormones, breast pumps and all manner of devices are allowing men heretofore incapable of giving teat to their bouncing baby girls and boys to nuture the little wankers!...
Read full storyHardonaway Signs Up Fo Da Down-Low!
Since Oprah outed African-American males who like to dabble in the rear-play even outa' jail,folks have been watchin' hard fo' signs of the down-low 'mong spohts stahs.
Read full storyMcCrone May Sneak in Among Brown, Cameron and Sir Menzies
"It wouldn't be the first time that a dark horse emerged as a candied date as the PM's split themselves. Brown is stuck in Blair, Cameron is the un-BlairBrown but not much more, and Sir Menzie is a has been in a has been party!" Thi...
Read full storyTitslesinites Break from Ancient Order Of Carmelites, Pt II
Fr Frederick "The Great" Titslesin is leading a schism from the Ancient Carmelite Order as was reported in Part one of this piece. Picking up from Freddy's notorious youth, fifth roomate in as many months,Unluk Eedawg told our reporter...
Read full storyFr Frederick "The Great" Titslesin Breaks from Ancient Carmelite Order Pt I
One of the oldest and greatest religious orders in Christendom has experienced a modern schism. Not since the separation of the DisCalced and Calced Carmelites over the important issue of footwear has a more ancient religious order been rocked at its...
Read full story"Carmelites" Light Up the Rio Mardi Gras Sky!
A Rio de Janeiro Mardi Gras Crew calls themselves the Carmelites because the Cariocas dress up as Carmelite nuns: g-strings and all. Brazil historian, Joa Joarin' explained: "History tells us that when they reached the new world, they felt f...
Read full storyActress Keira Knightley To Go Naked in Movie "Silk"
In her upcoming movie Silk, actress Keira Knightley has announced that she will bare all. The star of the Pirates movies will do full frontal and rear nudity for her part in the film. In the movie, Knightley will play an eleven year old girl on the...
Read full storyBritney Spears To Hire Image Consultant
After all the fallout from leaving rehab after only 24 hours, flashing her crotch at paparazzi, shaving her head bald a-la Sinead O'Connor, and other incidents, Britney Spears' handlers have concluded that "desperate times call for despe...
Read full storyNewest, Latest AskFrFred44Giveness!
Online confeesional staffed by Fr Frederick "The Great" Titslesin has received a poignant confession from JRNOMBLIGO:...
Read full storyCarlos Mencia Accuses Joe Rogan of Sodomy
A conflict has been brewing between Joe Rogan, formerly of News Radio and Fear Factor, and Ned Holness, television personality Carlos Mencia, that finally erupted at a comedy club within the past couple weeks.
Read full storyJustin Timberlake Says "Britney Shaved Her Head Bald For Me"
Justin Timberlake, entertainer, singer, and former boyfriend of Britney Spears, admitted today that Britney shaved her head to be closer to him. "It's an obsession with her," he said. "I shave my head, so she has to shave her head. I pull off Jane...
Read full storyDonald Trump's Next 'Apprentice' Show to Take Place on the Moon
It's official! Donald Trump, his hair, and the contestants, props and crew of "The Apprentice" are heading for outer space next season.
Read full storyCoke to go back to original cocaine recipe
Atlanta - Coca Cola Executives and a small army of PR people today crowded a specially hired convention centre in the heart of bustling Atlanta's business district to declare before a specially invited audience of local dignitaries and press that...
Read full storyBlair to issue new laws
Tony Blair, sick of the criticism he has endured recently, is considering passing laws to stop people saying things about him...
Read full storyBernard Matthews Lays Off Workers
It has been reported today that Bernard Matthews, Turkey Tycoon and the name now synonymous with 'Bird Flu' has decided to lay off his workers.
Read full storyRemote Inventor runs out of Batteries
Robert Adler, the man who invented the remote control, ran out of batteries, his manager announced today.
Read full storyChild molestors urged to unite under Pope
Vatican City (ReUterus): An inter-ecumenical commission has urged child molestors of all persuasions and perversions to unite under the Pope while the going is still good as George Bush and Tony Blair continue to stonewall their way through public o...
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