A Rio de Janeiro Mardi Gras Crew calls themselves the Carmelites because the Cariocas dress up as Carmelite nuns: g-strings and all. Brazil historian, Joa Joarin' explained: "History tells us that when they reached the new world, they felt free to wear all kinds of sexy wear under their habits: G-strings, push-up bras, posing pouches - you name it, hombre! Talk about dirty habits, the Carmelites had them all!"
Hermana Hermanosa, Carmelite Abbess, agreed with Joarin's assessment: "I knew nuns into S&M, Filthy Sanchez and Santa Maria Madrede Dios! After they were out of the clutches of Europe and its restrictive ways, those nuns were girls gone wild on the beaches of Rio!"
Fr Frederick "The Great" Titslesin O. Carm. Lite repudiated the reports from the seamy side of the ancient religious order: "Sex is much too pleasurable to be compatible with our order. We over eat into morbid obesity and drink ourselves comatose. Sex would require interpersonal relationships and scary kinds of closeness...of course that excludes sadism and pedophilia which we rank just a little bit below the beer keg and the chocolate caramel eclair."