NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The sexy, voluptuous, Elizabeth Hurley has just been signed to star in her very own cooking show. According to LaLaLand Daily's Valerie Vistawood, Hurley's new show, titled "Cooking Up A Storm With Luscious Liz," w…
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - (Sports Satire) - The world's greatest racehorse trainer, Bob "The Horse Whisperer" Baffert has just had his latest horse capture the very first race she entered. The mare named "Tit For Tat," easily won The Little Rock Fut…
LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti recently spoke with Lionel Messi, the captain of the Argentinian national team at The Guzzling Gnu Lounge in West Holly. Cofetti asked Messi how he was feeling. He said he felt goo…
CICERO, Illinois - (Satire News) - Reporter Bingo Branch with The Fox News has stated that the Illinois-based McDonalds Corporation has told the Predatorial Racist, Donald J. Erasmus Trump to stop eating at McDonalds restaurants. Branch informed t…
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - The Rumor Mill News Agency has just broken the story that Melania Trump is pregnant and the father is her NBA boyfriend, LeBron James. RMNA reporter Braxton Buzzwater said that he got the scope from newlywed Tiffany T…
SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin - (Satire News) - Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Pico de Gallo reports that a Wisconsin bartender is one very unhappy camper. De Gallo stated that Migno Millakooni, 39, recently found a 12-inch vibrator in his wife, Zully's un…
ROTTEN PEACHES, Georgia - (Sports Satire) - After lying his gigantic fat ass off for months and months NFL player Herschel Walker who played for the Cowboys, Eagles, Giants, and Vikings has FINALLY found the balls to admit that yes he has been an ext…
ATLANTA - (Satire News) - The piece of shit racist SOB, Donald J. Erasmus Trump recently confided in his best (and ONLY) friend, Fox News "Resident Rodent" Greg Gutfeld that he knows it's just a matter of months before he is arrested by the FBI and i…
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has just released a list of text messages about the late, beloved Queen Elizabeth. TEXT #1 - No one but King Charles III, knows that Queen Elizabeth loved drinking two shots of Vodka…
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (3:15 am) TWEET #1 - I hate Ron DeSantis more than I hate my hemorrhoids. TWEET # 2- The KKK has threatened to cancel my membership. I do not give a friggin' shit. My membership in the Oath Keepers, The Proud Boys, and The…
BURBANK - (Satire News) - Vanna White, who Andy Cohen estimates has turned of 3 billion letters recently turned 70. Cohen reports that "The Letter Girl" celebrated with a birthday cake that was shaped like the spinning wheel on the top-rated "Whee…
SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin - (Satire News) - Traci Diddle with National Rumblings reports that a firefighter in Sheboygan found a 12-inch vibrator in his wife's panties drawer. The firefighter identified as Gavitt Drizzelinski, 29, said that he had been…
MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - The Los Angeles Post-Gazette has compiled a list of ten illegal tweets that were put out by Donald The Pussy Grabber. The Trumptard knows full-well that he is violating tweeting policy by tweeting, since the orange ass…
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - (Satire News) - Kate Gosselin, who is 47, opened up to RumorLand News writer Zackary Yukon. Kate, who was nicknamed "Kate The Great" by former lover Steven Tyler, frontman with Aerosmith, said that she is proud to announ…
POUGHKEEPSIE, New York - (Satire News) - A 29-year-old woman, who is employed as a palm reader. recently made national headlines when she gave birth to twins. What made that feat so amazing is that the woman, identified as Windella Kobelli, was bo…
AUSTIN - (Satire News) - The Cloud 9 News Agency has just informed the flying public that the largest corporation in the entire world has just purchased JetBlue Airlines. Cloud 9 reporter Lexi Aspen spoke with a spokesperson for the huge airline a…
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Cinderella Zephyr, who utters more cuss words that lumberjacks at an Oregon lumberjack camp has just been named The Best Comedian In the USA by The NFL Players Federation. Zephyr who is 28, is in the Gunness Book of Wor…
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