MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (3:15 am)
TWEET #1 - I hate Ron DeSantis more than I hate my hemorrhoids.
TWEET # 2- The KKK has threatened to cancel my membership. I do not give a friggin' shit. My membership in the Oath Keepers, The Proud Boys, and The Nazi Federation of America are all still in effect.
TWEET #3 - I paid a Louisiana voodoo woman to cast a spell on my estranged daughter, Ivanka.
TWEET #4 - Maria Bartiromo texts me at least six times a day. I really wish that I had never met the goofy-as-shit Norwegian bitch.
TWEET #5 - My former good friend Sean "Fred Flintstone" Hannity stabbed me in the back. I hope that he goes to hell along with "Moscow" Mitch McConnell, Rudy "The Swamp Creature" Giuliani, and Ann "Horse Face" Coulter.
