BURBANK - (Satire News) - Vanna White, who Andy Cohen estimates has turned of 3 billion letters recently turned 70.
Cohen reports that "The Letter Girl" celebrated with a birthday cake that was shaped like the spinning wheel on the top-rated "Wheel of Fortune" TV show.
The 70 candles were shaped in the shape of 70 vowels.
Pat Sajak was not able to attend as he was at his proctologist's getting his REC_UM looked into.
Vanna's high school home economics teacher, Cuny Schumpert, 97, who is an old maid, actually baked the cake, which was frosted with midnight black frosting, which is White's favorite color.
SIDENOTE. Vanna's favorite number is 69, and her favorite beer is Dos Equis (XX).
