Soccer Great Lionel Messi Is Thinking About Retiring

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 5 December 2022

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"Lionel will retire from soccer and become an NFL field goal kicker." -JERRY JONES

LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti recently spoke with Lionel Messi, the captain of the Argentinian national team at The Guzzling Gnu Lounge in West Holly.

Cofetti asked Messi how he was feeling. He said he felt good, other than having an infection on his left tonsil.

He noted it has made it hard for him to drink his favorite beverage, which is Dos Equis Beer.

Messi told Miss Confetti that his wife Antonella "Toni" Roccuzzo, has asked him to retire from soccer before he gets hurt and ends up like Venezuelan great forward Paco "El Chilito" Vistablanca, who has to use a wheelchair with wheels the size of 18-wheeler trucks.

SIDENOTE: Lionel revealed to Miss Confetti that his favorite color is raw umber, his favorite singer is J.Lo, and his favorite American state is Texas.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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