1. Timmy The Timid – Timmy stood 6 feet 4 inches, and only weighed 107 pounds. He was once beaten up by a skinny mermaid. He once dated Blackbeard's sister Esmeralda for two weeks. 2. Lorenzo The Lost – He retired at the age of 81, having never l...
BAYOU CANE, Louisiana – Prince Harry and his wife, the lusciously-lovely Meghan Markle, were visiting the world famous Monsieur Qui Qui Swamp down in the heart of the swamp bayous, Bayou Cane this week. She told Maximus Bedstraw, of The Grandiose...
LOS ANGELES – There’s a new book coming out soon that Donald Trump (aka “The Divider-in-Chief”) is not going to like. In fact, he will probably wet his pants when he reads it. Ichabod Fernandez, with The Vox Populi News Agency, said that he recen...
NEW YORK CITY – The iNews Agency is reporting that three of the top Democratic contenders are very impressed by Mitt Romney, whom "The View’s" Joy Behar said is the only Republican in Congress who has any balls. She laughed and said that "Comrade...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady, Melania Trump, who is 49, caused quite a stir at son Barron’s recent soccer match. The first soccer mom showed up at The Pele Commemorative Soccer Complex wearing a tiny sports bra and a pair of tight-fitting Daisy Duke...
WASHINGTON, D. C. – President Donald Trump stepped out onto the White House south lawn wearing a LeBron James NBA Jersey and shorts. He told the assembled White House press reporters, including Wydell Willie Washington with The Harlem Yo Bro Press th...
LOS ANGELES – The former Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle was recently asked at a Los Angeles Lakers game about the tattoo rumor. Cicero Cuevas, a reporter with Sports Balls Illustrated spoke with the former duchess and asked her how her and hubby...
CHICAGO – Shakira was in Chicago to perform at a sold-out concert at The Al Capone Commemorative Coliseum. She talked to Ipso Facto Illustrated Magazine reporter Sigmund Cottonseed. The Colombian firecracker, who is 43, told him that, since her a...
BOSTON – Tom Brady, one of the NFL’s all-time great quarterbacks, has just announced that he plans on retiring. He told Sports Balls Illustrated’s Pistachio Custer that the time has come for him to hang up his football crotch cup, or pecker plate...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Johnny Trump, 73, (and tipping the weight scales at 273) has just become the luckiest president in the history of American presidents. Maximus Bedstraw with The Grandiose News Organization stated, “Every Republ...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Donald Trump’s first of two daughters recently talked with The Right Coast Revue regarding her childhood. She told Asburn Wasabi that, unlike most 12-year-old girls who had a Barbie Doll, Ivanka said that she had 34 Barbie Dolls, i...
WEST HOLLYWOOD – Mr. and Mrs. Prince Harry watched the president’s State of the Union address at The Tipsy Tadpole Lounge in West Holly, as the locals call it. The prince said that Trump appeared to be slurring many of his words, including Schumer...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – National Focus Magazine is calling President Trump’s State of The Union Address the most boring one since 1862, when Abraham Lincoln delivered his and he talked about his top hat, the new $5 bill, his invention of Lincoln Logs, and...
DES MOINES, Iowa – An unnamed source is reporting that an unnamed source is alleging that President Trump has had a hand in what many are calling “The Big Iowa Primary Mess From Hell.” An individual who will be simply known as “Simple Simon” says...
HOLLYWOOD – Famed singer, Cher, recently spoke with Kitty Sequoia with the iNews Agency, and she revealed an amazing secret that she had been keeping for many, many years. The female half of the famous singing duo Sonny & Cher said that when s...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump is reportedly as angry as a giraffe with a sore throat. The United States Supreme Court has just issued him an extremely drastic warning. According to The iNews Agency, Trump was told that the Supreme Court judge...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Jennifer Lopez and Shakira, two hot erotically sexy Latinas performed what many are saying was the best Super Bowl halftime show in the history of the Super Bowl. JLo and Shakira structed up and down the stage dressed in outfits...
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