WASHINGTON, D.C. – National Focus Magazine is calling President Trump’s State of The Union Address the most boring one since 1862, when Abraham Lincoln delivered his and he talked about his top hat, the new $5 bill, his invention of Lincoln Logs, and his pennies collection.
President Trump stayed glued to his two teleprompters and at one point he said that he hated Big Mac’s. Everyone, including Lindsey “Prissy” Graham, and Sean “Scrotum Face” Hannity knew that “Old Little Fingers’ clearly meant to say that he loved Big Macs.
Speaker of the House Nancy “Cupcakes” Pelosi could clearly be seen sitting behind POTUS and she actually mouthed the words “that’s bullshit” a total of 183 times.
An extremely bored Vice-President Mike “Mr. Firecracker” Pence was seen playing Tic Tac Toe with himself and tweeting his wife that he was not going to let Pelosi touch him.
The president really excited the Republican senators, whose average age is 83, when he spoke about Space Force. “Old Trumpelstilskin” said “And let me just say that there was no collusion and I plan for American astronauts to be the first humans to land on Mars, Jupiter, and the sun.”
Pelosi could clearly be seen whispering the words, “Oh my goodness, you really are one F***ed up dipshit.”
IN CLOSING – After her husband’s speech was over, a visibly bored Melania reportedly said, “Hey, someone please get me a friggin’ beer.”