WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Johnny Trump, 73, (and tipping the weight scales at 273) has just become the luckiest president in the history of American presidents.
Maximus Bedstraw with The Grandiose News Organization stated, “Every Republican senator, in his heart of hearts, knows that 'Old Little Fingers' is as guilty as hell. But only one GOP member, Mitt Romney had the cojones to cast his vote against him in the ‘Arrogantly Blatant Abuse of Power Amendment.’”
Bedstraw went on to say that the fact of the matter is that the GOP leaders are all totally afraid of the orange bully that Robert De Niro calls “El Teensy Weenie.”
De Niro said that he would love to get into a charity wrestling match with "ComradeTrumpski" so that he could body slam his lard ass so hard that his atrociously horrendous orange hair would turn shocking pink.
Meanwhile over on the Left Coast, Chrissy Teigen allegedly said that “Old Grab ‘em By The-You-Know-What” had better never, ever try grabbing a Democratic woman like that because the nasty mouthed vulgarian will get a high heel smack dab in the middle of his “Little Bitty Colluder.”
IN CLOSING - Jennifer Lopez has just announced that her and Shakira have already been booked to perform at next year's 2021 Super Bowl.)