WASHINGTON, D. C. – President Donald Trump stepped out onto the White House south lawn wearing a LeBron James NBA Jersey and shorts. He told the assembled White House press reporters, including Wydell Willie Washington with The Harlem Yo Bro Press that he had declared February as Black History Month.
He stated that he was going to try his level best to not attack Colin “Knee-Pads” Kaepernick, Don “Rainbow” Lemon, or LaQuantina “Say What?” Franklin. He said that being the perfect, non-colluding gentleman that he is he would put off any personal attacks for 24 hours.
The Harlem Yo Bro Press reporter asked him who LaQuantina Franklin was? The president turned a lot more orange, and said, “Look, loser, how dare you come onto my plantation, I mean the White House, and try to embarrass Donald Trump, the most perfectest truth-telling president ever.”
The president remarked that he would be having Mr. Franklin fined $800 and removed from the White House property. Then, Trump, who Robert De Niro refers to as “Little Peter Tweeter”, said “Truth be told, I have always enjoyed black music by such popular black artists as The Temptations, Bruno Martian, Men and Boys To Boys and Men, MC Hammerhead, and Led Zeppelin."
(IN CLOSING – After the ceremony, Trump turned to LeBron and told him that his 6-foot 4-inch-tall son, Barron Willie Trump, had recently renamed his pet woodchuck LeBron in his honor. The superstar grabbed Trump by his hair and remarked quite angrily "Change the name, mofo, or I'll dribble your fat orange lard ass down Pennsylvania Avenue till the friggin' sun sets.")