MICK JAGGER, England - (Satire News) - In a story that is unbelievably hard to imagine, the town of Mick Jagger, formerly Uptonshire-On-The-River Flippant, has voted to ban all football games. The town, which was renamed after the Rolling Stones s…
Multi-millionaires are still kicking a football around a field, in the belief that doing so still matters. Footballer Hay Bales said 'Yeah, like, Man if the guys and me stop playing football, it has a massive impact on the world, I mean we are pai…
MADRID, Spain - (Sports Satire) - The owners of the Real Madrid Football Club first stated back in January of 2021, that they were seriously contemplating moving the team from Madrid to Pamplona, Spain. Los Socios (the owners) were not happy with…
LONDON, (Rooters) - A yankee woman, Maria O'Sullivan, pissed off a Londoner named Jack Cromwell, better known to his friends as the "Ripper," during a goal scored inside Wembley Stadium at the start of his country's World Cup qualifying game against…
MADRID – (Sports Satire) – Sports Territory has just learned that the mayor of Madrid is so concerned about the Real Madrid football team moving to Pamplona, that he has taken a desperate measure. Tango Brisket with Sports Territory, reports that…
Manchester - Mauricio Pochettino, who recently joined Manchester United as manager, has been forced to reverse his first decision as the head man at the club, which was to buy attacking midfielder Jesse Lingard from West Ham United. Pochettino, wh…
MANCHESTER, England – (UK Satire) – Like the old saying goes “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” the Glazer family, who owns the Manchester United Red Devils, have decided to take a cue from Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys.
MANCHESTER, England – (Sports Satire) – Reports out of the UK state that Simon Cowell’s If I’m Being Honest Productions has just finalized plans for two of Britain’s most popular football clubs to play a game in China. The game will be played in S…
MADRID – (Sports Satire) – The rumors that the Real Madrid football club is moving have surfaced again. The US publication Sports Territory Magazine, is reporting that the team owners have been offered a fantastically lucrative offer from a group…
LIVERPOOL, England – (UK Satire) – After several years in the planning stages, the chairman of the Liverpool Football Club. Tom “Hey Mate” Werner has just informed the UK sports media that construction will soon begin on a brand, new, state-of-the-ar…
Ex-Leg-Breaking, Manchester United midfielder, Irish Nutter, Roy Keane, now earns his living f'ing and blinding on UK TV, before, in the middle, and after EPL (English Premier League) footy games. His favourite target at the moment in ranting abou…
After yesterday's disgraceful capitulation against their 'Bitter' rivals in the ancient city of Manchester, the red side of the city, managed by a 'walking the dead Norwegian Wood-Head', have decided to replace him with yet another piece of Dead-Wood…
A Nr7 shirt claimed to be the 'Messiah' for an ailing, once global dominant footy team situated in Manchester, and this team, which is certainly not 'United' is failing to 'part the waves!' The Footy Gods obviously prefer light-blue skies, and not re…
LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) – The Los Angeles Galaxy gave two Haitian soccer players a walk-on try-out and the two really impressed Galaxy Coach Greg Vanney, as well as the Galaxy owners known collectively as the Anschutz Entertainment Group. Th…
ABERDEEN, Scotland – (Sports Satire) – The reigning champions of the Scottish-Irish Football League, the Aberdeen Sea Wolves, easily defeated their long time rivals the Killarney Archers 6-2. The game was held at the newly remodeled Mrs. Sean Conn…
FRANKFURT, Germany – (Sports Satire) – The Alpha Beta News Agency is reporting that the world’s first all-nude women’s soccer team handily won their very first game. The unique soccer team known as The Frankfurt Frauleins easily defeated the all-m…
Cristiano Ronaldo has announced his retirement from self-publicity after breaking the international goal-scoring record. The 36-year-old Portugal and Manchester United star said he would take a step back from being in the limelight for 23 hours an…
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