Manchester United, driven by a 'Norwegian Wood-Head' hits a Scandinavian Iceberg!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 17 October 2021

image for Manchester United, driven by a 'Norwegian Wood-Head' hits a Scandinavian Iceberg!
Going, Going, Nearly Gone! A rudderless giant, captained by a Norwegian Wood-Head has hit the iceberg!

A Nr7 shirt claimed to be the 'Messiah' for an ailing, once global dominant footy team situated in Manchester, and this team, which is certainly not 'United' is failing to 'part the waves!' The Footy Gods obviously prefer light-blue skies, and not red ones, as sinister, dark clouds gather ready to release a 'Sword of Damocles' upon a Norwegian, who is already 'Headless!'

This Scandinavian ‘Messiah’ appeared roughly 3 years ago; he entered the bowels of this sinking 'Titanic' in a desperate attempt to save it from sinking even further. The Nordic Messiah successfully plugged some holes in the captain-less Jurassic giant; however, the holes were only plugged with ancient, ageing, ex-marauding mercenaries, several cabin boys, plus a Yorkshire donkey, who hee-hawed his way into the captain's cabin!

After three years of incompetence, yoyoing, swaying from left to right and, up and down, the holes in this Jurassic giant are now being rapidly unplugged as salty, erosive water enters rapidly.

It seems now as though the Nordic Messiah, a hero from past eras, is not the Ice-Cold, Blue-Eyed, Viking warrior, required to stop this disunited mob from sinking into oblivion because after so many wrong turns, it has hit an enormous Iceberg called, PREMIER LEAGUE REALITY!

No Red Scousers, Sky-Blue-Nifty-Passing-Imps, or Chelsea Pensioners, have been required to unplug the holes, just tiny waves caused by the Blue Side of Liverpool, Southampton docks, and a huge lump of Leicester Cheddar, without holes, were needed to batter the giant, rudderless monster! Hopefully, the Norwegian Wood-Head will be abandoning ship so yet another 'Messiah', sent from 'Footy Heathen Heaven', somewhere beyond Hadrian's Wall can stop the rot!

But who has the 'cojones?' Maybe the Nr7 shirt has the answer up his sleeve, or in his boots? Only history will tell if the sinking of a once glorious ' Jurassic Titanic' will repeat itself in a Manchester dry-dock. Or maybe Icebergs are better left in the freezing cold seas battering Norway because in Liverpool and London, they cannot be sighted! There only Prussian Warriors can avoid such deadly collisions!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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