WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Seven of the nine members of the United States Supreme Court have issued the Plywood State of Florida a very stern warning. The highest court in the land, after reviewing over 373,000 documents, reports, and memo…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider, who wishes to remain anonymous, has just let it leak, that POTUS called a meeting of his closest, most trusted advisors about the situation in Florida. The insider told Pico de Gallo, with…
MIAMI – (Satire News) – The Federal Hurricane Agency (FHA) has just informed the public that hurricane season ended on the 30th of November, but a rogue hurricane has just been spotted by the Hurricane Hunters. Hurricane Repunsel’s co-ordinates ar…
MIAMI – (Satire News) – Many weather-related topics were recently discussed at the annual meeting of The American Meteorological Guild (AMG). One topic that was discussed concerns the island town of Key West, Florida. As everyone knows Key West ju…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – Like Confucius said back in 525 BC, “If one acts like a prick, then sooner-than-later he’ll end up with his dick in the dirt." True dat, as our British cousins say. And there is really no better example of a…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Department of Health and Well-Being has just stated that they are sick and tired of Florida Governor Ron “The Circus Clown” DeSantis acting like a cheap, bargain-basement version of Don “The Con” Trump. Velve…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – Die-hard Trump follower and super ass-kisser Ron DeSantis, sticks his GOP foot in his GOP mouth at least half a dozen times each and every day. A few days ago, he said that he wants to deport most of the Cuba…
It’s more than a case of denial or ignorance, Florida's Governor Ron DeSantis must know better (unless he’s a certified moron), but he has his eye on the White House. He seems to think that by agreeing with Donald Trump’s message of the Lysol and Clo…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Ipso Facto News reports that due to the huge rise in Delta Dawn Virus cases in the Plywood State, the House of Representatives has voted 234 to 201 to restrict travel to and from the state of Florida. Governor Ro…
CANBERRA, Australia – (Satire News) – The Australian government has issued a very strict directive that anyone who violates their lockdown risks the possibility of getting shot, and not just in the leg either. A spokesperson for the government sai…
CROCODILE SHOES, Florida – (Satire News) – In a prediction to end all predictions the U.S. Weather Federation has stated that they are expecting a grand total of 47 hurricanes to make landfall in the continental United States this hurricane season.
ALLIGATOR NUTS, Florida – (Satire News) – Well ladies and gentleman, it has rolled in once again, and the scramble will soon begin. Those two dreaded words – Hurricane Season, are now upon us, like Philadelphia Cream Cheese on a bagel. Weathermen…
NIPPLE BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) – The holiday that the entire nation has been dreading since last summer has arrived. Yes, Spring Break is here, and she’s reared her ugly “Maskless” face. Millions of college students from all over the natio…
TALLAHASSEE – (Satire News) – In an explosive decision, the governor of the Plywood State has just announced that, effective immediately, citizens of Florida will no longer have to wear medical masks, practice self-distancing, avoid public beaches, o…
Re-settling in his beloved Florida is proving the next great hurdle for poor old Donald Trump. Melania is not amused, and is patently seeking to rule the roost. Go carts are a no-go for the Slovenian model, so she has to walk, or rather strut, eve…
DAYTONA BEACH, Florida – (Sports Satire) – Officials for the National Association of Stock Car Racing, revealed to the sports media that ex-president Donald J. Trump wanted 10 free tickets, so he and his family could attend the upcoming Pensacola 300…
MIAMI – (Satire News) – The Miami Fire Department says that they are discontinuing their “Bring Us Your Unwanted Alligators” program. Fire Chief Lancelot “Sparky” Singletree told the news media that, at first, they could deal with getting one or t…
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