WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider, who wishes to remain anonymous, has just let it leak, that POTUS called a meeting of his closest, most trusted advisors about the situation in Florida.
The insider told Pico de Gallo, with Tittle Tattle Tonight, that Gov. Ron “Asshole” DeSantis is acting more like a damn monarch than a governor.
The president has informed the FBI that he wants at least six agents to investigate everything about DeSantis, going all the way back to when he was 13, and still wetting his bed.
Biden made it very clear to all that he is going to get old “Fuck Face” Ron out of the governor’s mansion before Valentine’s Day.
Meanwhile, another piece-of-shit governor, Greg "The Cocks*kcer" Abbott, of Texas has just found out that his brand new, customized, $487,000 wheelchair has been recalled.
SIDENOTE: Abbott, who is even uglier than Rudy “The Swamp Creature” Giuliani, says that it will cost the Texas taxpayers about $17,491 to get it fixed.
