PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz is reporting that a huge volcano has just been discovered east of Pensacola. The volcano has been given the name Mt. St. Citrus. Reports coming out of the Plywood State point out that the Florida Hous…
In an appeal to the state supreme court, the California Public Employees Retirement System - CALPERS - seeks to overturn a lower court ruling that prohibits removal of the life-prolonging plug from the electric circuit that has kept a brain-dead 120-…
Washington - Older White Americans were surprised to learn that people in the 18-24 age range did not share their enthusiasm for all things patriotic and evangelical. Caucasian baby boomers, a group that overwhelmingly approves of a wannabe dictat…
Erith, Kent, UK: Replacing leaking taps under sinks can sometimes be a harrowing experience for OAP's and people with 'Jurassic' knees. However, calling a plumber to do the job is even more harrowing after they send their invoice! It is a common f…
It seems the innocent, do-gooder, little old ladies of the world are out of luck getting any help crossing the street once again. For the 13th straight year the Ruling Order of Pasty Whites (ROPW) has named the "Little Old Lady" as the most stealthy…
Of all the girls I dated - lots in my time, which includes now - I'd only been dumped once before. I usually did the dumping. But this time, at 90, I got the full--blown treatment. Right down to having my email BLOCKED! Me! A recognized contributor t…
Well, it looks like porn is not just for young people anymore. Longtime North Andover resident and world famous entrepreneur Pepi McFain today announced his plans to launch a porn channel for the elderly. “We’re targeting ages 65 and up which, on…
We're constantly told that we should not judge people or discriminate against them because of their color, sex, gender orientation, religion, or political stance, and now comes the latest warning - to stop judging people because of the music they lis…
We've all encountered them-- the nasty, ornery old guys that can't stand it when you get anywhere near their front lawn. And now one man in the suburbs has lost his voice by yelling at so many 'Covid-19 Detourers', that he's been forced to use a meg…
A man and his wife from Brighton have told friends of how a cosy night in front of the television turned into a major incident, after they became embroiled in an argument over the last Rolo. Just to clear this up, they're both from Brighton, not j…
A WAR veteran who raised millions for the NHS by walking around his house has been promoted in rank from captain to major. Major Tom Moore says his next venture is in space, where he hopes to go around his capsule "in a most peculiar way". The...
After yesterday's news that UK residents aged over 70 might be required to remain under lockdown until at least the autumn of 2021, a new leak has emerged claiming that Prime Minister Boris Johnson is currently discussing an even more radical plan fo...
BROKEN BOW, Nebraska - Flossie Wunderwurst, the director of The Napping Nightingale Senior Citizens Home, which houses 603 older men and women, states that, everyone in the entire home is doing well and are in a happy mood, considering. The long-...
For years, twisted perverts have pleasured themselves over classic geriatric porn with titles such as "Wrinkly Tits", "Dry, Dry Vages", and "Gravedodgers on Viagra". Yet now, the entire industry has shut down, as its stars are dropping like flies fro...
WEST CHESTER--A seventy-five-year-old woman, whose name was being withheld at press time, was found dead in her apartment yesterday afternoon, trapped by the weighted blanket under which she had been pinned for some time. Neighbors, who had not seen...
A pensioner from Leeds has revealed how he spent the weekend holed-up in his back garden shed, after an argument with his wife "over nowt at all". Arthur Batty, 68, fell foul of his wife, Edna, 65, after she asked him if he liked a new mauve cardi...
Starting with an article in Newsweek magazine yesterday, a wave of irritation and protest has surged throughout the elderly community. The Newsweek headline: “Elderly Americans are dying without getting to read Mueller’s report and they’re not...
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