Man Spends Weekend In Garden Shed After Dispute With Wife

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 18 April 2019

image for Man Spends Weekend In Garden Shed After Dispute With Wife
In happier times - the Battys

A pensioner from Leeds has revealed how he spent the weekend holed-up in his back garden shed, after an argument with his wife "over nowt at all".

Arthur Batty, 68, fell foul of his wife, Edna, 65, after she asked him if he liked a new mauve cardigan she'd bought from the market. Arthur said it was alright, but he preferred the beige one she'd bought last week.

There was a terrible silence.

Then, Edna told her husband that, if that was how it was going to be, she wouldn't bother asking his stupid opinion in the future.

"Please thee sen!" said Arthur.

"Ah will!" Edna retorted, adding, "an' tha can get thas own tea an' all!"

Arthur, who often spends vast tracts of time in his shed, pottering about, meddling with old flower seed packets, screws, nuts and bolts, random pieces of small machinery, and some mucky books, packed a small bag with his pyjamas, spare underpants and toothbrush, and made for the garden retreat, allowing Edna a 'cooling-off period'.

Things calmed down, and the pair resorted to occasionally peering at each other from behind net curtains in their respective strongholds for two days.

A neighbor said that, early on Monday morning, Edna was still:

"Fair simmerin'."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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