OAP replaces leaking tap in the Bog and is now recovering in hospital with a heart attack

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 4 July 2021

image for OAP replaces leaking tap in the Bog and is now recovering in hospital with a heart attack
Before you replace your leaky tap, replace your dodgy knees! Otherwise you could end up in hospital with a heart attack! !

Erith, Kent, UK: Replacing leaking taps under sinks can sometimes be a harrowing experience for OAP's and people with 'Jurassic' knees. However, calling a plumber to do the job is even more harrowing after they send their invoice!

It is a common fact that many leaking taps have caused heart-attacks, suicide, and nervous breakdowns when the plumber's invoice flutters through the letter box, which includes mileage, hourly rates for plumber and his mate, and over the top material costs!

So, this particular OAP, residing in a terraced house built in 1949, decided to do a DIY job on his leaking tap to save having a heart attack. He removed the dripping tap attached under the sink without problems, apart from his missus having to heave him up onto his feet.

However, replacing the old tap with a new one was rather more complicated and time consuming. Once on the floor, and under the sink, everything was going hunky-dory until he had to get up to see if the tap was aligned correctly.

Years of playing footy, tennis, hot-doggy-sex on his knees (you wish!), and running marathons, had left his knees in a rather shoddy shape. So, the simple job of replacing his leaking tap transformed into a major exercise in fainting, getting dizzy, cracking of knees, and lying distraught on the bog floor like a stranded, beached, blue-whale!

Luckily, his missus was still around as she heard him scream for help! She called an ambulance! They managed to drag him off the floor and into the ambulance without further damage to his back and knees.

A plumbing company was informed, and they immediately sent a young plumber round to install the new tap. After receiving the plumber's bill, the OAP was transferred to Intensive Care after his heart went into attack mode!

He is now in rehab. However, his missus is over-the-moon after the leaking, dripping bog tap was repaired by a trained young handy-man, and not a 'Jurassic' tight-as-a-duck's-arse DIY amateur with dodgy knees.

Moral of this story: "No more 'knees up Mother Brown's at Christmas!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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