TIJUANA, Mexico - (Satire News) - Ted "Dracula" Cruz fled the US once again (with his two semi-cute daughters in tow) to avoid the fierce 158 MPH winds of Hurricane Cinderella. Cruz has a history for tucking his tail between his legs and going dow…
SECRET CITY, USA - (Sports Satire) - The NFL tired to keep this story under wraps but Hercules Confetti, a writer with The Turnstile Review, broke the story about a football cheerleader who has been dating a hitman with an infamous Guatemalan drug ca…
I am Brother Godfearer, (my Holy pseudonym) - no need to know my real name, as we all serve God. I have the Pre - Papal Catholics storefront church on Broad Street. I am new here, and am trying to be a New Broom, and sweep Clean. People coming…
CALEXICO, California - (Sports Satire) - California has always been known as the innovational state, as far as drugs are concerned. The Left Coast state has come up with hundreds of different drugs that eventually make it to mainstream America.
SAUSALITO, California - (Satire News) - The California Center For The Latest Drugs (CCFTLD), has just made the American citizens aware that the latest drug concoction to come out of secret California drug labs is known as Peruvian Marching Dust Smoo…
LONDON - (Satire News) - Shock waves are emanating throughout the United Kingdom and even into parts of Germany, after a long time palace guard at Buckingham Palace has been arrested for possession of drugs. The guard, who said his name was Shirle…
LAREDO, Texas – (Satire News) – The United States Department of Immigration and Customs has pretty much seen it all as far as individuals trying to smuggle illegal drugs into the U.S. Laredo Sector Director Melody G. Ventinberry, 43, reported that…
BERN, Switzerland – (Satire News) – Reports filtering out of the Land of Swiss Cocoa confirm that the tiny neutral country has hit the big time regarding drugs. The Swiss Department of Hard Core Drugs is reporting that the largest drug cartel in G…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Executives at Pfeiffer Pharmaceuticals are upset at the rumor that their booster shots contain high amounts of carbs. Wendell W. Doorlund, who is the director of logistical fallacies, wants the American public to know tha…
CORN SHUCK, Iowa – (Satire News) – As astounding as it may sound, the “Fly-Over” state of Iowa has become the new Mecca for drug trafficking. An independent poll taken by the highly reputable Quinnipinni Polling Agency found that Iowa has now repl…
LAREDO, Texas – (Satire News) – iNews reports that the United States Border Patrol has just implemented The Roaming Border Pooches Program. This search and find program is the brain child of VP Harris, and in just the first two days, has been resp…
DUBAI, India – (Satire News) – The yearly Dubai Camel Races have been cancelled due to the fact that four of the camels tested positive for hump enhancing drugs. A spokesperson for the racing association noted that the camels appeared to look fine…
LAREDO, Texas – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News is reporting that the US Border Patrol has just named their “2022 US Border Patrol Dog of The Year." And the honor goes to a 7-year veteran of the US K-9 Corps, named Pistolero. Pistolero, a German…
RATTLESNAKE PEE, Arizona – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has just broken the story that US Border Patrol agents have just discovered the longest tunnel ever constructed between the United States and Mexico. American tunnel expert Jose Juan Cabeza…
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Move over Pizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson, there is a new sheriff in town and his name is Bezos-Musk. The largest corporation in the world has just informed their entire staff of pharmaceutical scientists to put…
GUATEMALA CITY, Guatemala – (Satire News) – Guatemala’s El Platano News Agency has just revealed that one of the country’s most notorious hitmen is actually a hitwoman. El Plat reporter Paloma Bocalinda, actually spoke with the woman in question i…
Washington, DC - If you've been wondering what VP Harris has been up too since solving the border crisis, the wait is over. On Friday, Biden held a press conference in the Rose Garden, to explain that his VP has been busy training the first dogs i…
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