BERN, Switzerland – (Satire News) – Reports filtering out of the Land of Swiss Cocoa confirm that the tiny neutral country has hit the big time regarding drugs.
The Swiss Department of Hard Core Drugs is reporting that the largest drug cartel in Guatemala, The Tapachula Hombres Drug Cartel, has infiltrated the nation's illegal drug trade and is wreaking in billions of dollars annually.
The notorious cartel is actually listed on the New York Stock Exchange as Tap-Hom.
Reports coming from the office of the president of Guatemala state that a dozen senior members of the Guatemalan cabinet actually sit on the board of directors of The Tapachula Hombres Drug Cartel.
Meanwhile the Swiss government is asking the United Nations to step in and get the Guatemalans out of Switzerland.
The UN responded by saying, “Are you fucking kidding us? Those dudes are meaner than the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Isis, and Hezbollah combined.
