OSLO, Norway – (World Satire) – The government of Norway is very worried about the sardine shortage that has hit the Scandinavian country. Concern over the oily forage fish situation has all Norwegians worried-as-hell. The term sardine is also…
Gary and Lorraine Johnson have spent the last hour arguing over the last Twiglet. ‘I love Twiglets’ said Gary ‘but I hate Marmite, so if I want the taste of Marmite without the texture, I go for a Twiglet, but there was only one left, so I asked L…
In homes all over the land, on Christmas Day Auntie Gladys will declare as she does every year, that she loves Brussel Sprouts, but they disagree with her. And so it is that once again Brussel Sprouts will disagree with Auntie Gladys again. Auntie…
The Vice President will travel to the headquarters of Subway sandwich shops to talk to a “large, restaurant style bowl of the famous Subway tuna salad.” A spokesperson for the Vice president emphasized that he bowl “was quite large and was the…
Acclaimed monkey lady, Jane Goodall, has invested her life savings from monkeying around in Africa for all those years in a string of Banana Shops, after deciding there just aren't enough banana shoppes in the world. "I suppose we should have seen…
A nan has started preparing for Christmas by putting the sprouts on a low simmer to ensure they are at optimum indistinguishable mushiness on the big day. Veronica Perkins, 67, said, “I spend thirty-seven hours putting little crosses in 22,000 sp…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – It seems like with each new day, the former “Golfer-in-Chief,” aka Donald J. Trump is hit with yet another investigation and follow-up charges. Trump’s latest investigation; an investigation into his Trump steaks, is cert…
HARLEM – (Satire News) – Ever since she was a little girl growing up in Harlem, Quanzilla Yolanda Windmuffin, 26, has been able to eat lots of large things with very little effort. She explains it by saying that she has a very tiny uvula which mak…
A tiny EU nation stuck above North Germany, home to Legoland, a naked mermaid, and Peter Schmeichel, is causing quite a stir across the North Sea. Those residing on the outer-periphery of EU unification are about to be invaded by something that ca…
Joey Chestnut, who repeated his winning ways in this year’s edition of Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, accomplished the nearly miraculous and unbelievably revolting act of eating 76 full sized hotdogs and buns in roughly 10 minutes. It was a…
Lovers of two wonderful national favourite foods, devoured on a daily basis throughout England and Germany are now at a quandary as to which iconic fried delicatesse will come out of the deep-fry-pan first. Pizza and Paella lovers do not have such…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The cooking maven who single-handedly made French fries, cake, donuts, sugar, pies, and butta famous, is back again and with a Southern-Fried vengeance. Paula Ann Deen, at one time had 4 cooking shows on different c…
he news from NPR crawled out of the radio, into my ear and embedded it’s teeth into my nervous system. THERE IS NOW A SHORTAGE OF KETCHUP IN AMERICA!!! HOW CAN WE BE EXPECTED TO LIVE LIKE THIS??? Will the mercilessness of this pandemic never en…
Irvine, CA - Taco Bell is always trying to gain global market share in the profitable 'crappy food' market, and they have seen steady profits with their bizarre international menu. In Japan, you can get a Octopusadilla. In Italy, you'll find taco-…
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – A Guinness World Record, that had stood for 18 years, has finally been broken. The Hot Sauce-Eating Record now belongs to a 27-year-old man from Osaka, Japan, who ate 9 lbs., 7 ozs., of imported hot sauce in 57 seconds.
KAGOSHIMA, Japan – (Sports Satire) – The Saki-Saki News Agency has stated that the world’s first transgender wrestler, Yamaha Wasabi, 37, has lost for the first time in her 12-month career. Wasabi, who weighs a whopping 521 pounds, was clobbered b…
In news that is sure to come as a bombshell to those in culinary circles, a man has revealed how a pie he bought from a bakery, at dinnertime today, had become stuck to the greaseproof paper casing upon which it was sat. Moys Kenwood, 57, purchase…
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