Paula Deen, The Cooking Goddess, Alias The Butta Lady, Is Back – And She’s Cookin’ Up A Storm

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 16 June 2021

image for Paula Deen, The Cooking Goddess, Alias The Butta Lady, Is Back – And She’s Cookin’ Up A Storm
Paula Deen estimates that in over 50 years of cooking she's probably used over 5 million sticks of butta (Butter).

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The cooking maven who single-handedly made French fries, cake, donuts, sugar, pies, and butta famous, is back again and with a Southern-Fried vengeance.

Paula Ann Deen, at one time had 4 cooking shows on different cable channels, including her favorite one, on the Ingredients Network titled “Paula Deen Can Take Simple Road Kill And Make It Taste Like a Ribeye Steak.”

The 74-year-old native of Savannah, Georgia also had a chain of “Paula Deen This Be Dixieland Y’all Restaurants.”

She has also written a brand new cookbook that will be released in time for Carbohydrate Week, titled "Miss Paula Deen And The Over 7,000 Things You Can Do With Sugar."

Ever since she was a little Southern belle of 9, Paula has specialized in Southern dishes like Chicken-Fried Chitlins, Barbecued Squirrel Butts, Rotisseried Catfish Innards, and her personal favorite Drunk Duck Simmered in Oodles of Butta.

She has truly made her way back after it was revealed that 40 years ago she had uttered the dreaded “N” word just one time.

Deen was quickly fired from all of her shows, her husband divorced her, and she ended up moving to Lima Peru, where she bought a Llamaburger Food Truck.

Paula is thrilled that so many prominent African-Americans, such as Oprah Winfrey, LeBron James, and Black Kitty Meow Meow supported her and even stated, that how ironic that she got raked over the coals for uttering one "N" word, when dozens and dozens of black hip hop and rap artists use the "N" word as many as 25 times in just one 3-minute song.

But now after being given a second chance, with the help of Anderson Cooper, Meghan Markle, Mike Tyson, Dr. Jill Biden, Beyonce, and Jose Altuve the "Southern Grandma" is back and back with a deep-in-the-heart-of-Dixie vengeance.

SIDENOTE: Vice-President Kamala Harris has really helped the platinum blonde cooking goddess to get back on her feet, by helping her receive a tax-free government endowment check in the amount of $973,402, which allowed Paula to purchase 4 chicken-fried steak food trucks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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