CHICAGO – (Satire News) – It seems like with each new day, the former “Golfer-in-Chief,” aka Donald J. Trump is hit with yet another investigation and follow-up charges.
Trump’s latest investigation; an investigation into his Trump steaks, is certainly going to barbecue his ass (no pun intended).
One of the nation’s top investigating firms The Christopher Columbus Investigating Firm, has discovered that the so-called prime-quality steaks that Trump was selling, were actually 60% kangaroo meat.
The other 40% ingredients included hamburger helper, baloney, nutra, Skittles, and Ramen.
When asked to comment the man who will forever be known as the “Kremlin's Pee-Pee Boy” and “Melania’s Mutt” commented that it’s all a hoax (of course) and it’s just a witch hunt (of course again), and that it’s just Nancy (Pelosi), Hillary (Clinton), and Barbra (Streisand) just hating on him again [cue the violins].
Meanwhile when Melania was asked to comment on her husband’s comment she shook her head and replied, “Pleez hears me peoples – ju has tu eggnore my messed up husbandt. He ease, how ju say…a lotta fucked up in hees lying orange noggin.”
