Jane Goodall Opens A Chain Of Banana Shops

Funny story written by Paul Blake

Tuesday, 30 November 2021

image for Jane Goodall Opens A Chain Of Banana Shops
Goodall's taste-testing monkeys are the best in the business, claims Goodall.

Acclaimed monkey lady, Jane Goodall, has invested her life savings from monkeying around in Africa for all those years in a string of Banana Shops, after deciding there just aren't enough banana shoppes in the world.

"I suppose we should have seen this coming?" said Sir Richard Attenborough. "Her last three books have had the word 'bananas' in the title."

Indeed we checked. Her 30th book was titled 'Monkeys Love Bananas,' which was followed a year later by 'Bananas In The Mist' and then during the pandemic, Goodall released 'I'm Bananas For Bananas!'

So yes, I guess we should have seen it coming.

Indeed, Goodall admits that the primates are really on to something with the bananas, and she herself is pretty much on a bananas and bugs diet. Although if someone throws an apple on the ground, she would likely eat that, too.

Goodall says that after 60 years of book touring, she found herself endlessly on the search for a half decent banana. 'I can't tell you how many book readings I've been late for, just searching and searching. I find great comfort in the fact that the world will finally be able to find a proper banana. And so will I!'

So, look forward to a 'Just Monkeying Around!' Banana Shop, in a rundown strip mall near you soon. The brightly painted stores will be hard to miss, and only serve top quality bananas.

Goodall promises that no customer will leave a 'Just Monkeying Around!' location before hearing a very long-winded story about monkeys and their favorite food—pizza.

"Yes, primates love bananas," says Goodall. "But don't be daft, they really, really love pizza! I find that fascinating."

Goodall then went into a two hour long monolog about the time she ordered 10 Dominos pizzas and 10 Papa John's pizzas, to see which a pack of Silverbacks liked best. But admits the results were inconclusive, considering the big monkeys ate the boxes as well. "We all had a jolly good laugh about that, and ate a big bunch of bananas," she said, wistfully recounting the experience.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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