CHICAGO – (Satire News) – A recent gynecological survey has just revealed a very interesting thing about adult women’s breasts. The study which was conducted by a team of gynecologists from Illinois, California, Texas, and Vermont proved without-a…
BEVERLY HILLS – (Satire News) – The doctor’s who performed singer Dolly Parton’s breast reduction surgery have stated that the TRS (Tits Reduction Surgery) took one hour and 35 minutes. Dr. Billy Bobby “Sure Hands” Grabalintino, 51, informed the T…
DAYTON, OH-Clint Smith, a Dayton Ohio manufacturing manager at Caltech Auto Parts, took a wild leap forward with cancel culture this week by writing up a petition to have 156,742 big breasted women kicked off Tik-Tok for causing him to get an erectio…
PITTSBURGH – (Satire News) – The Daily Dirt has just broken the story about an ATM machine in Pittsburgh that went effeningly haywire. According to DD reporter Stormy Coin, ATM machine #780609-3 located at The drive-thru ATM machine lane at The Te…
MADISON, Wisconsin – (Satire News) – Reports filtering out of “The Badger State” conclude that the breasts of Wisconsin women (ages 21 and over) are getting smaller and smaller. One Wisconsin resident, named Ethel Hipsixen, 34, noted that when she…
"It started off as a rather whimsical promotion," said pub owner Mort Jigglethwaite with a chuckle. "I had no idea that it would spawn a formal scientific study!" "You see, Wednesday night is typically a slow time for our business, so when we le…
SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – The Wild Whispers News Agency is reporting that the Hooter’s Corporation has agreed to rehire a 24-year-old woman who was fired simply because she’s as flat-chested as Marjorie Taylor Greene. WWNA reporter Margarita…
CANTON, Ohio – (Sports Satire) – Jerry Jones told Cinderella St. Lamb with the Balls News Agency that he is getting tired-as-hell of seeing his team lose. He said that he is so stressed out that he is even having a problem getting it up in the bed…
PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – A woman, who resides in Pensacola, recently told Pensacola’s ABC Affiliate Channel 44, that her size 44-DDDDDDD tits are positively 100% natural. Hilda Brisquette, who is an unemployed prostitute told Channel 4…
BOSTON – (Satire News) – After years and years, the senators of the Bay State have finally paid attention to the state’s leading gynecologists. With a vote of 71-29, the state’s rulers have passed a bill that will ban all nipple rings. Boston g…
WOODCHUCK HORMONES, Kentucky – (Satire News) – A woman who relatives, friends, and the homeless say has one hell of a sense of humor has just made national news. Lolita Sweetwater, 28, who says she’s a pole dancer/dentist, recently had her 38-DDD…
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – It’s no secret in the entertainment world that rapper Megan Thee Stallion’s breasts are the biggest ones to come down the entertainment pike in a long time. Bravo Network's Andy Cohen has called the singer with the two…
Since his sinister adviser Dominic Cummings has gone, Boris Johnson's buffoonery has been allowed to romp unchecked. Numerous incidents in recent days have raised alarm among the PM's handlers. First, he posted a photo of his testes on Twitter, mi…
A man who watched an old video clip of the BBC's Graham Norton TV show with guests Mark Ruffalo, John Bishop, Rufus Wainwright, and female rapper Nicki Minaj, has said he was a little taken aback by the singer's cleavage. Moys Kenwood, 57, and old…
HOLLYWOOD – The gorgeously sexy Colombian bombshell, Sofia Vergara, has stated that, contrary to rumors, that have been put out by the White House, she is not planning on getting a breast reduction. Vergara, who starred in the sit-com “Modern Fami...
A man who often notices these kinds of things, has noticed that animated game character, Lara Croft, is 'bigger in the bosom' than she used to be - or so it seems. Lara, who stars in new game 'Relic Run', and used to be in 'Tomb Raider', can be se...
LOS ANGELES – There’s a new book coming out soon that Donald Trump (aka “The Divider-in-Chief”) is not going to like. In fact, he will probably wet his pants when he reads it. Ichabod Fernandez, with The Vox Populi News Agency, said that he recen...
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