MADISON, Wisconsin – (Satire News) – Reports filtering out of “The Badger State” conclude that the breasts of Wisconsin women (ages 21 and over) are getting smaller and smaller.
One Wisconsin resident, named Ethel Hipsixen, 34, noted that when she graduated from college her breasts were a C-cup; and now they have gone down to a B-cup.
Ethel’s boyfriend Chad Praxx, 28, told a reporter for LaLaLand Daily that he doesn’t care if Etty’s tits go all the way down to an A-cup, just as long as her beaver (muffin) doesn’t get humongous.
Miss Hipsixen told Huckleberry Citrus with LaLaLand Daily that she knows for a fact that her taco (pussy) won’t get any bigger than it already is, due to the fact that every night, she does about 20 minutes of labia majora tightening exercises.
Meanwhile, In Climate News: The government of Bolivia has stated that due to unusually hot temperatures, for this time of year, the female llamas are refusing to mate and for some unknown reason, they are actually kicking the male llamas in their scrotums.