It has been revealed that an ancient and valuable document has been found in the Outer Hebrides, part of Scotland, relating to POTUS Donald Trump's Scottish ancestry. The delicate parchment was discovered in a previously-unsearched chamber, deep b...
Pupils at a local Stoke-on-Trent High School were looking forward to a long-arranged day trip to a popular animal centre today, but disaster struck soon after they arrived. The schoolchildren, aged 11 to 16, were visiting the local "Monkey Forest...
Bridezilla, Clara Fluff, was devastated to learn that her Wedding Venue had burned down just three days before her wedding due date, last week. Sobbing and distraught, she asked a local radio station to put out an All Points Bulletin to get her a...
An Egyptian student has accused a zoo in Egypt of painting a donkey with black stripes in order to make it look like a zebra. The student's photograph of the suspicious looking zebra, named Muffin, has been examined by several experts who claim th...
Unusually, on waking up, Lesley Jones, of Middlewich, Cheshire, who was born a woman, decides what gender he will be for that day depending on what she feels like. If she feels like he is male on that particular day, he binds his chest, wears trouser...
The UK was today left reeling after a brief spell of cooler weather. Children were seen staring at the skies in wonder as spots of warm rain fell for the first time in months. One school has planned a weeks' lessons round "warm clothing". Teacher,...
The England cricketer, Ben Stokes, was today put forward for an MBE for his brave defence of a gay couple on a night out in Bristol. Stokes, who was completely sober during the Bristol club-crawl with his mates, first encountered the gay couple af...
Z-list celebrity, Danielle Lloyd, has today confirmed that she will be getting married in secret next year to her short-term fiancé. Danielle stated in exclusive interviews with Closer, Hello, Tatler, and Vegetable Growers Weekly magazines, today,...
A London cardiac unit has claimed "dark forces" and "unruly spirits" are responsible for an increase in cardiac-related deaths over the past 12 months. In a "damning" report, a specialist has blamed a "culture of voodooism" and "black magic" in th...
A new report out today, commissioned by GQ Magazine, has concluded that rappers will be extinct within the next 3 years. According to the report, rappers are dying out faster than they are breeding, amongst a culture of drive-by shootings and stab...
After pinkie-promising POTUS Donald Trump that he was "over nuclear arming", North Korean leader, Kim Jong-Un has not halted his nuclear missile programme after all, a UN report has found. Kim Jong-Un is not only defying sanctions and dealing with...
Charles Bronson, Britain's most notorious prisoner, has appeared in court by video link today, which he managed to beam to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for his £30.00 per ticket one-man sellout show. Bronson, also known as Charles Arthur Salvador...
Liam Payne from Boyband One Direction, has revealed the real reason he left his twice-married wife Cheryl, today. In a typically candid and outspoken interview, Liam revealed that Cheryl was obsessed with her figure, and refused to get pregnant in...
Desperate measures are being taken, it seems, in the recent heatwave, as a Merseyside man held up an ice cream van with a machete. The Liverpudlian desparado claims he had been passed by no less than four vans in his quest for a 99 for himself and...
The Queen has unusually chosen to speak out following Donald Trump's accusation that she was fifteen minutes late for her meeting with the United States President. In a statement read out by a Buckingham Palace spokesman, it was revealed that the...
The current unrelenting humid, sticky, overly-moist heatwave that is sweeping the UK, is putting the nation's children at risk, says a new survey, out today. The survey, commissioned by "Overprotective Parents UK", states that more and more child...
In the wake of the current heatwave in the UK, which, as we speak, is causing grass fires to rival the hellish scenes left in Kuwait after Sadam Hussein abandoned the oil fields using his "scorched Earth" policy, the Met office has issued a "dry gras...
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