Written by carina-eta

Friday, 3 August 2018

image for Heatwave Puts UK Children at Risk
Keep the helmet on Timmy! (He'll die if he bruises.)

The current unrelenting humid, sticky, overly-moist heatwave that is sweeping the UK, is putting the nation's children at risk, says a new survey, out today.

The survey, commissioned by "Overprotective Parents UK", states that more and more children are opting to leave the house than ever before.

A spokesperson said, "Not only are they in danger of dehydrating and fatally cutting themselves on sharp grass, they are putting themselves at risk by leaving their homes to go outside and play."

Children have been spotted playing "Kerbie", where a ball is bounced onto the opposite kerb, and British Bulldog, where children compete to break through an opposite defence line of children.

The spokesperson commented, "These children think they are enjoying themselves, but they are putting themselves at great risk from traffic, roaming opportunist paedophiles and the elements themselves!"

Lobbyist, Mrs Verity Cumquat, stated, "Arthur was on the autistic spectrum before he started going out to play. Now, it seems he's just an ordinary kid. We don't do ordinary in my family, we do special, and he's no longer special! This has devastated the family."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Kids, Heatwave, play




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