Written by carina-eta

Saturday, 4 August 2018

image for Rappers will Become Extinct Within 3 Years
A not-so-rare sighting using a concealed camera

A new report out today, commissioned by GQ Magazine, has concluded that rappers will be extinct within the next 3 years.

According to the report, rappers are dying out faster than they are breeding, amongst a culture of drive-by shootings and stabbings (mostly in the UK where guns are illegal).

However, most rapper populations, although in steep decline, have refused protective measures such as allowing hits to be included on "Now Thats What I Call Music 100", and appearances on shows such as "I'm A Celebrity," preferring instead, the outdated protection of gold-chain-wearing bodyguards, which has proven ineffective in the past, due to the bodyguards tending to murder their employers.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are amongst those promoting breeding programmes within rapper populations via the use of surrogates. Again, this has been largely rejected on the basis that most rappers want to be "baby-daddies" with as many "hot baby-mommas" as possible.

The music industry is investing heavily in CGI technology to enable departed rappers to appear in shows posthumously, and rappers are being urged to "get on camera as much as possible" to make this possible.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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