Written by carina-eta

Sunday, 12 August 2018

image for Bride Hijacks Gay Wedding
The Live Cake Topper

Bridezilla, Clara Fluff, was devastated to learn that her Wedding Venue had burned down just three days before her wedding due date, last week.

Sobbing and distraught, she asked a local radio station to put out an All Points Bulletin to get her a new venue - and they did!

Soon-to-be-married local gay couple, Jon Jamms and James Jim, had all their wedding plans in place at a local hotel, including a guest band, catering and wedding cake. Grateful Clara and her spouse-to-be Donovan Vaginal were invited to take part in a double wedding on their big day.

However, things started to fall apart when Jon and James discovered that Clara wanted a pink colour scheme for her wedding, and not the classier navy blue that the boys had picked. They compromised and split the room down the middle: a pink half and a navy blue half. They had to grit their teeth though, when they walked in to find the pink half of the room covered in swaying pink feathery fronds, live flamingos and glitter machines pumping pink glitter everywhere. To top it off, their subtle "Mr and Mr" cake paled into insignificance next to the 6ft extravaganza of pink, glittery icing and flowers that was Clara's cake.

Clara arrived at the venue to a 40-piece band in a silver and pink fairytale horse-drawn carriage, splashing manure and mud onto the gay couple as they walked demurely to the event after arriving in a limo.

During the double ceremony, Jon and James were forced to stand to one side to accommodate Clara's "Gypsy Bride" 4ft-wide pink, taffeta and lace dress creation and 20ft train, and were only half in shot for most of the photographs.

After the wedding, Mr and Mrs Vaginal-Fluff said, "We are so happy that gay weddings were legitimised, otherwise our day would have been ruined and way more expensive."

Mr and Mr Jim-Jamms sobbed into their whiskies, unable to comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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