Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 28 January 2019

image for New York Diner Arrested For Sexual Harassment, After Tipping Waitress
She looks the type

A male diner at a top New York restaurant was in trouble with the police this evening, after handsomely tipping a waitress who had served him.

Stephen Douglas, 36, and his business colleague, Bob Mount, 42, had visited the restaurant to talk over some business, and were waited upon by Diane Fisher, 28.

The meal went well, as did the business, and then it was time to go. They asked for the bill, and this came to $81.55. Douglas pulled out a $100 bill, and told Fisher to:

"Keep the change, thank you."

The waitress glared at him, and retorted:

"What kind of a waitress do you think I am? You can't buy me!"

Douglas told her he didn't understand, but Fisher warned him:

"Don't come the innocent with me, sitting there in your suit and tie, thinking you're better than everyone else, flashing $100 notes at a girl. I know what's on your mind, you filthy sex pest!"

At this, an off-duty policeman who was also eating at the restaurant, entered the fray. Andrew Plodd, 31, approached the businessmen's table, and quickly ascertained what had gone on. He arrested Mr. Douglas, and led him away. Mr Mount went home.

Mr Douglas was subsequently released without charge, but later said:

"She was polite when she took our order, efficient when she delivered it, and pleasant right up until I tipped her. What more can I say? I'm going to stop tipping."

But Mr Mount, interviewed at home, said:

"I could see her ample cleavage, and she had a rather cute ass."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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